No Other Way
by Miss Peg
Summary: COMPLETE, Sequel to 'Trying To Forget'; What happens when Naomi makes a new friend? How will Emily react to Katie's over-protectiveness?
1. Chapter 1 Naomi

**This is my second ever Skins fic so I hope you enjoy, I was pretty suprised by the response to my first, so fingers crossed I'll get a similar sort of response with this one. If you haven't read Trying To Forget, you should because this is a sequel to that. Though they can work as two separate stories if they wanted to.**

**Some of you may be reading this and wonder what is going on after Trying To Forget, please bare with me, hopefully things will become clearer as the story goes on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

A new year, a new start. Naomi stood in front of the college entrance and looked up at the building. It hadn't changed since the last time she saw it before the summer, except for a fresh lick of paint and a few new potted plants outside. She looked at Emily who stood beside her grinning, and let her fingers intertwine with her girlfriend's. They hadn't officially told the world that they were together, except for their close friends. But they had decided that they wouldn't hide their feelings in public and if anyone asked, they would tell them.

-

"Are you ready to do this?" Emily questioned, shaking slightly with nerves. Naomi nodded and they set off through the corridors of the college. The moment she saw other people she wanted to let go of Emily's hand, but at the same time she tightened her grip, desperate to show the world that she was ready to be open about her feelings. She noted the glances they both got; the corridors of people who noticed their holding hands in a way that didn't suggest being close friends. She noticed questions on the faces of many, mouths opening and closing again as questions that were in people's minds never reached their throats. It felt empowering to know that people had seen the truth; that they would probably talk amongst themselves and that nobody would actually approach them to ask for their side of the story, but make up their own version of the truth instead. Naomi couldn't help but wonder if celebrities felt a similar way when they walked down red carpets with a friend on their arm; the rhetorical questions that would be asked, the assumptions made and all in all the lack of truth in the majority of it.

-

"I'll see you after my Politics class," Naomi smiled, kissing Emily lightly on the lips. They pulled away, but the sweet scent of Emily's body spray lingered in the air and she breathed it in hungrily. One kiss was all she was going to get, but it didn't stop her mind undressing Emily in the corridor. The soft touch stayed with her as she walked away from the girl she loved. She glanced down at her printed timetable, trying to remember where the room was located, before heading off in the general direction. The door was only meters away, but she held back as people from all walks of life sped past her. She held onto the kiss for a moment longer before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open as she took her first step back into the reality of her college life.

-

The classroom wasn't as full as Naomi had anticipated which was only to be expected, as her tutor went on to explain, as the pressures of Politics A2 were too much for some to bare. She droned on for another twenty minutes about the course material, the books they would use and details of hand in locations, all of which Naomi had read the night before in the course handbook. Finally, the petite woman whose voice was beginning to crackle, told everyone to pair off for a class presentation they would be starting instantaneously. Behind the chorus of moans and groans came the sound of chairs and tables moving. Naomi pushed her chair backwards and turned around to look for a partner, but instead collided with another student. She looked up into his deep, blue eyes and kept his gaze; noting the chiselled shape of his jaw, the dirty blonde hair like a mop on his head and the shape of his perfectly formed lips.

-

Naomi turned around as their teacher clapped her hands together, quickly noticing that the group had stopped moving and were instead watching the only two people left standing in the room.

"Would you care to join us Mr…?" their teacher asked, waiting for him to fill in blanks.

"Fraser, James Fraser. it's my first day and I got lost, I'm sorry to disrupt."

Naomi watched him take his seat, before glancing around in search of a partner for the project. It took less than a minute to realise that James Fraser was the only person sat alone.

-

Once they had been briefed on the presentation, Naomi sat in silence. James introduced himself and though she too gave a brief introduction back, she let him talk freely about his ideas for their presentation. She knew it was something she should have listened to, but her thoughts had taken a wrong turn in her brain and were now hovering somewhere around her lower intestines. She took a deep breath and noticed the difference in his scent to that of Emily; she didn't know why she'd compared the two, but was quick to brush the thought aside, before attempting to focus on the content of their discussion.

-

As the lesson drew to a close they walked together out of the classroom and back down the corridor.

"I was hoping to go out at the weekend, know of any good places?" James asked.

"There's a couple of places my friends and I go," she replied, feeling her mind clearing slightly.

His face lit up in a smile that could melt hearts. Naomi took a deep breath and tried to ignore a feeling of guilt hovering on the edge of her thoughts.

"How about you show me them?"

"Maybe," she replied, his smile contagious as her lips curled.

-

She looked down the corridor as she saw Emily walking to meet her, a smile just as large on her face. Naomi waved her hand, before turning back to James at the sound of his voice.

"Is she one of your friends?"

My girlfriend. Naomi thought, the words on the tip of her tongue as she turned to watch Emily continue her journey down the corridor. She could see herself stood on the edge of a cliff, waiting to jump. Emily was stood on one side holding a rope that would keep her from crashing into the waves below. Naomi could see Emily reaching the rope out to her, asking her to take it. But James was stood on her other side, with his million dollar smile. Naomi repeated 'My girlfriend' several times over, but the words didn't seem to want to fall from her lips.

"Something like that," she replied, "I should go, I'll see you later."

-

James and Naomi parted ways and after checking that he was out of sight, Naomi reached out to hug Emily. An urgency to kiss her lips passionately returned with full force as Emily's lips gently pressed themselves against her own and all thoughts of James were gone.

**AN: PLEASE REVIEW! The best thing about writing stories is the feedback people give you, so please take the minute it takes to leave a comment and make someone very happy. :)**


	2. Chapter 2 Emily

**Thanks so much for the reviews, I can't believe how many I got within the first hour after starting the story. I really appreciate all of your comments. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

She felt giddy with exhaustion and wanted to cry because she was so happy. Emily whispered comments into Naomi's ear, just to feel close to her. The afternoon sun was beginning to set. The room was growing darker as they lost the natural light of a day that could have been deemed almost perfect except for the interruption of college. Naomi whispered comments back and they rolled around on the bed in a fit of giggles. She couldn't believe how easy it had become to lie in bed with Naomi as the evening arrived. But a summer of experience had gone a long way in increasing their confidence.

-

"I have something for you," Emily informed her girlfriend, leaning over the end of the bed and reaching out for her bag, but it was too far away. She crawled out of the bed and across the floor until her fingers caught the strap.

"What is it?" Naomi asked, excitement in her voice.

"Keep your knickers on, you'll find out in a minute,"

"What knickers?" Naomi asked with a flirtatious smile.

-

Emily pulled herself up from the floor, only to collide with the desk above her head. She screamed out loud and clung to the back of her head as she fell onto her back.

"Are you ok?" Naomi asked, pulling on her arm to lead her back to the bed. Emily stumbled to her feet, then let herself fall against the mattress, her eyes watering heavily, in pain.

"I appreciate the gesture, but that really wasn't what I was expecting" Naomi laughed as she examined Emily's head.

"Fuck off, that hurts," Emily cried out, pushing Naomi's hands away from the painful bump emerging below her hair.

-

After realising that her injury was nothing more than a bruise and definitely not bleeding, Emily returned to the contents of her bag where she pulled out a sheet of paper.

"Am I not the best girlfriend ever?"

Naomi took the sheet from her and read aloud, "Leadership workshops, for anyone who wants to lead. No experience required. Workshop will be run on the following topics: politics, protests, community, environment and many more."

"I expect the best girlfriend trophy by tomorrow morning,"

"Best? No not the best. Maybe a bit alright," Naomi laughed, kissing Emily on the lips and thanking her.

"Actually James might be interested in this too,"

"The guy you met today?" Naomi nodded. "Thank God, I thought you were talking about my brother."

-

Naomi lay down beside Emily, clutching the sheet of paper above their heads. Emily watched the words on the page as Naomi grew silent and wondered what she was thinking about. Whenever they were in silence, Emily would think about their happiness and the memories they'd shared. She wondered if Naomi thought the same.

"What's on your mind?" she finally whispered into the dark room. But Naomi just continued to stare at the sheet of paper. "Naomi?"

"Sorry," she mumbled, dropping the sheet and turning to face Emily. "What did you say?"

"What's on your mind?"

-

There was silence again, but it wasn't a good silence; it felt uncomfortable. Naomi didn't seem to want to reply to her question, the longer she took to speak, the longer Emily felt like there was something wrong.

"Naomi?"

"Nothing," she finally replied, her voice crackling, before she cleared her throat.

Then the mood quickly shifted, Naomi had a grin on her face and she was pinning Emily down against the bed and kissing her on the lips. Emily pushed her feelings aside and wondered if it was just her imagination as she felt Naomi's fingers running along her bare shoulders.

-

It was dark outside the Fitch house, except for the bright lights of a pimped up Ford Fiesta parked across the driveway. Emily rolled her eyes when she spotted Katie sucking the face off her boyfriend in the front seat. She touched her lips, remembering with urgency the last kiss she'd had with Naomi. Neither of them had wanted her to go home, their kiss lasted twice as long as usual, but it stayed with Emily even longer. She could still remember the touch of Naomi's lips on hers, the feel of her hands resting at the base of her spine.

-

The bedroom door opened half an hour later and Katie stumbled in; her hair was a mess, her lipstick smudged and she smelled strongly of alcohol and tobacco. Emily rolled her eyes in disapproval, but Katie was too busy, glancing out of the bedroom window waving as the car drove away, to notice.

-

"Don't tell me you just fucked him in his car?" Emily asked, shaking her head. Katie shrugged her shoulders and sat down on her bed to remove her shoes. "He's a prick."

"He's my boyfriend," Katie snapped back.

"He's still a prick,"

Katie groaned as she climbed into bed, "It's none of your business what he is, he's MY boyfriend,"

Emily shook her head and laughed, "How many times have you made Naomi your business?"

"Piss off," Katie replied, turning out her light.

-

Emily quickly changed and climbed into her own bed, turning her light off as she lay down. She stared up at the ceiling, where several glow in the dark stars were stuck and thought of Naomi. She'd spent most of the day thinking of her girlfriend and knew she'd probably think most of the night about her too. She loved her, she was loved by her and that was all she needed to think about to fall asleep.

**AN: PLEASE REVIEW! If you read it you should review it...it really does make the writer (i.e. me) very happy and will make me write faster too.**


	3. Chapter 3 Naomi

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm enjoying writing this sequel, so I hope you're enjoying read it too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Her eyes were open wide, staring at the teacher. She focused her sight on the corduroy jacket he was wearing, on the chocolate brown buttons that lay on one side and the handkerchief that was sticking out of his top pocket. If she wasn't about to fall asleep, she'd laugh at his dress sense. She rubbed her eyes, desperate to keep them open, but she was fighting a losing battle. Emily had kept her out late the night before, it was an accident really. They were supposed to go to a party and leave at ten so she could get home and finish an assignment that was due in the next day. But once ten o'clock arrived, they decided to stay another half hour, then another hour. Until they were sat outside the party waiting for a taxi at midnight. The taxi still hadn't arrived by one in the morning, so they'd decided to walk. Only, the way they walked home passed the lake where they'd spent their first night together. They were going to walking past without fluttering an eyelid, when Emily whispered a memory of that night into her ear and dragged her down the road to the waters edge. Once their lips had collided, there was no going back; she felt hungry for her girlfriends body, desperate to be close to her. That's where they'd woken up only a couple of hours later, feeling groggy and sleep deprived. They walked home just in time to shower and change for college.

-

The desk felt cool beneath her forehead, she let it rest there for a while, her eyes closing instantly. Then a loud bang woke her from her near sleep and she jumped out of her seat and looked around the room. It was empty. She frowned, wondering how long she'd been asleep for. She was lost in her confusion when she felt a hand touch the bare skin on her shoulder and neck. She thought of Emily but it was a cold and unfamiliar touch. She could smell familiarity in the air, but she was too afraid to turn around. The person was taller than her, almost a head taller. She could feel a mouth pressing against her neck, sending a bolt of electricity down her spine, making her feel alive.

-

"Stop," she sighed, trying to pull away from the persons grasp, but the guilt she thought she felt was growing hazy in her mind and her body wouldn't move.

"I know you want me," a deep voice whispered into her ear, a voice that Naomi recognised, but she couldn't quite place.

-

She turned her body round until she was face to face with James. His dirty blonde hair looking more a mess than usual, his deep blue eyes only looking into hers. Naomi reached her hands up to touch his face, to run her fingers across his lips, down to the back of his neck. She leant up as he bent down and their lips crashed together in a moment of passion.

"Wakey, wakey," his deep voice laughed.

-

Naomi lifted her head, looking around the now full room and into the eyes of James. He was grinning from ear to ear, shaking his head as he laughed at her. The dream hovered on the surface of her memories and she felt sick with guilt. She tried to push her thoughts aside and think of the night before with Emily. But all she could see was James, all she could feel was his touch on her skin.

"Late night?" he asked, chuckling as he packed up his bag.

"It's over?" she muttered a response, watching the room empty. He nodded and slid his notepad into a bag.

"You were well away, have any nice dreams?"

Yes. Her mind screamed for her to tell him, but she just shook her head. She wondered what she had missed in the time she'd been asleep, but before she could even ask him, James volunteered the information.

"We need to meet up outside of college to discuss our presentation,"

"Okay," she replied, frowning, her mind still fuzzy with feelings that she wished weren't there.

"I can do Friday after college," he informed her and she nodded. He raised a hand and turned to walk away.

"I'll see you on Friday James,"

"See you Friday Naomi," he grinned, turning again to look into her eyes "and call me Jay."

"Jay," she mumbled, staring at him as he walked down the corridor, away from Naomi.

-

The dream had implanted itself firmly into the back of her mind, super gluing itself to her memories and not allowing her to file it away under 'not acceptable'. But it wouldn't go. It was there to stay. Naomi exited the college building, she was supposed to meet Emily for their twenty minute break, but she felt sick to the stomach at where her dreams had led her. She couldn't face Emily and she needed some fresh air to cool her down and wake her up. Her phone buzzed in her pocket so she picked it up and read the brief message from Emily asking where she was. She typed out a quick reply before going home.

**AN: If you read, then please review, it's only fair. :)**


	4. Chapter 4 Emily

**Thanks for the reviews, hope you continue to enjoy the story! The next few chapters after this one will be good ones in terms of storyline development, so keep your eyes peeled.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Three thirty two, Emily read from her phone. She was waiting outside a classroom for Naomi to come out from her lesson. Lessons usually ended between twenty past and half past to avoid everyone trying to leave as soon as the 3.30 bell rang. It was very rare that any lesson actually went on past the bell. She wondered if Naomi was feeling better after leaving college early the day before last and not returning again until earlier that day. Emily had tried calling her, to see how she was, but their conversations were brief and Naomi had insisted that Emily not come over to nurse her better. She looked around the corridors as the last few people walked towards the exits. Except for a tall, blonde haired guy who was stood against the opposite wall staring at her.

-

"Err hi," Emily called out.

"You're a friend of Naomi's, aren't you?" he asked.

"A friend?" Emily muttered.

The word friend taunted her, he said it so casually like it didn't mean much. Of course in most cases it didn't, but she was more than a friend to Naomi so it really bothered her.

-

"Are you not? Sorry I just assumed 'cause she said you were friends."

"Oh no, we are...friends," she answered, the word feeling rough on her tongue.

"Are you James?" she asked trying to make conversation so as not to appear rude when all she wanted was to tell him the truth. He nodded his head. "I have a little brother called James."

He smiled at her, though his interest in her statement appeared none existent. She wondered why she even told him.

"People call me Jay."

-

They stood in silence, Emily gazed around; from Jay to the floor, to the door that Naomi was behind. She then returned her eyes to Jay as he spoke again.

"Lots of pretty girls here aren't there?"

Emily laughed, more at the placement of his statement than the statement itself. She half nodded at him, not knowing what else to say.

"Do you know Naomi well?"

"Very well," Emily informed him, she's my girlfriend, the words were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't say them aloud.

"What does she like?" he asked, moving to stand beside her. "How can I get to know her better?"

Emily could feel her stomach turning in knots. A guy she didn't know was asking her advice on how to get with her girlfriend. She knew she had to reply, she still wanted to tell him the truth. But before she had time to answer, the classroom door opened and Naomi finally emerged in a small crowd.

-

She was greeted by one of Naomi's smiles, it usually melted her heart and made her want to snog the face off her girl. But today she just glared at her.

"Afternoon, sorry I'm so late, the worm kept us back" then she noticed Jay stood beside her. "Oh hi Jay."

Emily could feel her anger rising up inside until she burst, her voice appearing cold and harsh. "I'm going to go leave you two alone, I mean I'm only a friend, he likes you by the way."

-

Naomi looked confused and a little bit hurt by Emily's blunt comment, but Emily was pissed off and she didn't care who noticed it. She picked up her bag and headed off down the corridor.

"Wait, Em," Naomi called after her, but Emily didn't turn back.

"You ready to go?" Jay asked

"No." Naomi whispered, biting her lip "Can I call you later? I need to go after Emily."

"I suppose so."

"Sorry," she called out as she rushed off.

-

Emily was walking through the front entrance when Naomi caught sight of her. She called her name causing her to stop walking and turned to face Naomi with her arms folded across her chest. She was not happy, she was hurt. But she didn't want Naomi to see that.

"Please don't leave, talk to me."

"Like we did in the summer?" Emily spat out, "Talk to you like I told you we shouldn't hide our feelings, like you agreed that once we came back here we would be open and honest?"

-

She couldn't stand how much Naomi's lie had got to her, she wanted to cry, but she didn't want her to see her cry. When Naomi didn't answer, Emily walked out of the college and across the car park.

"Emily, its not like I meant to hurt you," Naomi called after her "Please, I didn't mean to not tell him, he just asked and I didn't correct him."

-

Emily continued to walk away. Despite it being fifteen minutes since college ended, she saw Katie standing on the pavement just outside the college gates. Not wanting to be alone, Emily went to join her sister.

"What's wrong?" Katie asked when she noticed Emily walk over. It was all Emily could do not to cry. She bit her lip.

"Fuck," Emily called out as she bit her lip too hard and drew blood. But Katie just stared at her, wondering what was wrong.

"Emily wait, please can we talk properly," Naomi shouted from the car park.

-

Emily turned around, then noticed Katie looking in the same direction, a look of anger on her face.

"What did you do to her?" Katie shouted, walking over to Naomi before either of them had chance to reply.

"None of your business, it's between me and Emily" Naomi muttered back.

"Katie come back your boyfriend is here," Emily called out to her sister, who was now stood in front of Naomi staring her down. Emily turned to the car that was vibrating from the volume of the music, the side window opened and Katie's boyfriend peered out, a stupid grin on his face.

"Come spank my monkey Katiecums."

Emily rolled her eyes and walked away from the car.

"Your foul mouthed boy is waiting, can we go?" Emily sighed, pulling on Katie's arm.

"Fine," she called back, glaring at Naomi before letting herself be pulled away by Emily.

-

They climbed into Vikram's car and after an argument with Vik over taking Emily home, they drove off. Emily watched Naomi walking along the pavement before they drove past. She knew that it wasn't a major lie, that they would easily sort it out. But Emily couldn't help feeling like there was something else driving a wedge between them.

**AN: I hope that if you've enjoyed this story, you'll take the time to review it! You don't even need to "review", just say if you're enjoying it. Or if you're not, constructive criticism is welcomed.**


	5. Chapter 5 Naomi

**Thanks so much for the reviews, I really love to read them because it makes me feel like I'm writing something that isn't just enjoyable for me, but that it's actually entertaining others. I'm really surprised actually because we're only on chapter 5 and up to about 20 reviews, when the prequel to this only got about 35 altogether. So thanks for making my day and helping to beat my review records.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

She called Jay as soon as she got home. She knew it wasn't the best time to be calling the person who had caused the argument between her and Emily, but she didn't blame him for assuming a false fact that she had never corrected. It had made her feel guilty since she'd said it, but it was too late; she couldn't fix the problem. Emily was angry and she had a right to be. But their politics presentation was due in less than a week and she needed time to prepare with James. He had asked her to meet him at a cafe near his home; she didn't want to say no as she'd already let him down once. On the phone they'd talked for a while about life, about college and when he asked her about Emily she changed the subject. But the more they talked the more she wanted to talk and the least thrilled she became at the thought of saying goodbye.

-

He was sat in the window when she arrived, she could see his eyes focused on the book in his hands, a mug of tea or coffee beside him. She took a deep breath, watching him from the outside. It felt stalkerish, but she wasn't ready to walk inside, not just yet. She watched him run his fingers through his mess of hair and it left her feeling weak at the knees. The piece of paper in her hands, the leadership workshop information, brought her back to earth with a bang; remembering the girl who gave it to her in the first place. She was still lost in her thoughts when Jay looked up from his book and signalled for her to join him.

-

She replayed the incident with Emily in her mind while she waited for Jay to return to the table with her drink. It wasn't easy to forget what had happened, or even deny that it happened at all. When he returned she felt weak and a mess. He took his seat opposite her and rested a hand on her shoulder, a look of sympathy in his eyes.

"I hope you managed to sort things out with your friend," he spoke with such earnest that Naomi wondered how much he really cared.

She nodded, unable to speak through fear her words would become tears. But she didn't need to when Jay quickly moved on to their presentation. She tried to focus but her shoulder tingled where he'd touched her and goose bumps covered her arms when she thought about his soft touch. She found herself staring at his lips as they moved, wondering what they'd taste like, what they'd feel like. They looked so kissable and the thought of the kiss they'd shared in her dreams left her wanting to kiss him for real. But he quickly pulled her out of her reverie when he asked her a question. She pushed her irrational thoughts aside and focused on the presentation. She didn't want to fail the assignment after all.

-

Naomi was surprised by how much they managed to achieve sat in a noisy café on a Saturday afternoon. But after three coffee's and two slices of cake each, they left feeling successful having achieved everything they needed to. His laugh still echoed in her ears as they walked down the street towards her house. He had such a good sense of humour and Naomi couldn't believe how much she had laughed in the space of only a few hours. It felt comfortable to be walking beside him, to have his arm brush against hers as they walked slightly too close together. She trusted him. She liked him.

-

James stopped on the corner of Naomi's road. She barely had time to think when Jay rested two hands around her cheeks and pushed his lips against hers. Her body shook under his touch, a shiver passing from head to toe in seconds. The soft touch of his lips were everything she had dreamed about and everything she had feared. His scent entered her nose and filled her body with exhaustion and aching. Naomi opened her eyes and took a step back from him. He frowned as she closed her eyes again, letting a couple of tears slip from her lids.

"Fuck, I can't do this," she moaned.

"It was just a kiss," he sighed, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

-

She melted under his touch, letting the warmth of his body envelope her, comforting her when her tears were so full of guilt. She didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve her; he deserved better. As did Emily. Naomi couldn't help but feel lost in her own thoughts, a mixture of right and wrong colliding with her body's desire and her heart's pull.

"I'm sorry," Naomi cried, pushing his arms away from her body and shaking her head. She could feel his eyes burning a hole into the top of her head while she stared at her shoes. After a slight sniff, she lifted her head up again and bit her lip.

"If this is about that thing with your friend, it will be okay, friends fight all the time," Jay informed her, pulling one of her hands up until he could grasp it fully. Naomi nodded in silence.

-

She let their hands continue to meet in between them. Friends fight all the time. He was right. But girlfriends didn't. Sure there were arguments, disagreements, but not this. It was wrong. She knew it was wrong to stand so close to someone and to feel so strongly when they weren't the person you were supposed to be with. He was a boy, she was a girl. If it had been a year earlier she would have accepted her feelings and accepted him into her life as far as her insecurities would have allowed. But she stood on the corner of her street, in a place she'd spent many moments with Emily, betraying the only person she had ever openly loved and the only person to openly love her back.

**AN: Please please plrease review if you like my story, the only way I will carry on writing it, is if I know people are reading it. I would like at least 3 reviews before I will update, please, thanks. The word review might not be the best option really, it's not like you have to evaluate the story, just make a comment, any comment! (As long as it's not mean, constructive criticism only please.)**


	6. Chapter 6 Emily

**Thanks for the reviews, I really enjoyed reading them!!! Sorry it took me til morning to get this next chapter up vix844, but I'd already gone to sleep before I'd read your review! If I didn't need to be up early-ish I would have stayed up all night and written.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter...keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter because it's hopefully going to be a good read.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Monday morning and Emily hovered by the doorway of her history class. The weekend hadn't been enjoyable or restful, having spent two sleepless nights wondering if her and Naomi would be able to resolve their differences. From the doorway she could see the bright blonde hair of Naomi sat in her seat, her face looked sad and her usually sparkling smile was solemn. Emily took a deep breath and entered the room when a moment of bravery gave her enough courage. The room was nearly full as it was nearly every lesson. Emily looked around for a seat not next to Naomi and spotted one beside a dark haired girl whose name she could never pronounce, let alone remember.

-

From where she sat, Emily could see the side of Naomi's head. She couldn't help smiling when Naomi turned to an angle that gave her full view of her rosy cheeks and red lips. The anger she'd felt days before had near enough gone, being replaced with a feeling of sorrow. Emily missed Naomi. She missed the sound of her voice when she spoke her name, or made a joke, or got mad at the world. She missed the touch of her naked skin colliding with Emily's in moments of passion. She even missed the way she moaned at her for throwing her drinks cans in the bin or got annoyed at government policies Emily knew nothing about. There was something to be said about true love and Emily realised that the way she missed Naomi's flaws as much as her qualities suggested that their love was pretty much true.

-

She tried to focus on the lesson but their teachers monotonous voice left no one willing to learn. Emily looked around her, at the two guys at the back of the room throwing paper balls at each other, at the girl in front of her reapplying her make up and the girl beside her playing on her mobile phone, the teacher unaware of all that was going on around him. Then he set an exercise for groups of four and the room erupted into groans, chairs scraping and a moment of suffering when Emily realised that she didn't know who to sit with. Her first instinct was Naomi, but they still hadn't made up. Her second was Katie, who had already been surrounded by three teenage boys. Emily turned to the girl beside her, only to watch her walking over to a group of three friends.

-

"Emily," the teacher was stood beside her, staring down at her with his glasses covered eyes. "There's a group at the front with only three."

Emily nodded, and thankful for the help, she lifted her belongings from the table and carried them across the room. She looked at the tables at the front and noticed the only one with three, was also the group in which Naomi was sat.

-

Naomi was watching her. Their eyes met as she took a seat opposite her. The four of them stayed silent for several minutes, the room around them appearing uncontrollable from the level of noise they were making. Emily looked at Naomi, trying to say something without speaking, trying to tell her that she was sorry for getting angry, but she was okay now. But Naomi wouldn't take her eyes off her notes.

"So," she finally muttered, a short word followed by a long pause. It wasn't much, but it left Emily feeling weak. Her desire too strong, she could barely handle sitting opposite Naomi under the circumstances. She wanted to kiss her, to make love to her, to make up with her; there and then.

"We should start," Emily pushed her thoughts aside and looked to the others in the group, who nodded in agreement.

-

Things were going well, Emily noted. She hadn't directly spoken to Naomi, they had merely talked to the group as a whole, looking at the other two in the group to save looking at each other.

"The first signs of trouble were at Bodmin on the 6th June 1549," Naomi read from a chapter of their text book. The two other group members nodded and quickly noted down what she had said without much discussion.

Emily was staring at Naomi's fingers as she too wrote it down. She hated being so close to Naomi, but being so far away at the same time. It was killing her and she wondered if it was killing Naomi too. She wanted to ask her, she wanted to force her to talk to her. She took a deep breath and let the words flow from her mouth.

"I don't hate you, if that's what you think."

Naomi's eyes moved from her notebook to Emily's eyes and they stared at each other for a moment. Naomi's brow furrowed; a look of confusion, a look of anger, a look of hurt. But then she looked to the other two members of their group and muttered something about The Rebellions of 1549.

Emily took another deep breath and let the words forming on her lips fall out into the classroom. "I don't fucking care about the rebellions Naomi, talk to me."

-

The teacher was by their side in a flash, a look of distaste on his face. He was about to open his mouth when Emily stood up so quickly her chair fell backwards. She wasn't one to stand up to teachers, but when her heart was involved she realised she would do whatever it takes.

"Naomi and I are having a disagreement, can we please go outside for a minute to sort it out?"

The teacher looked confused, but he nodded in agreement, giving Emily the permission she needed to drag Naomi from the room. She didn't want to go, that was obvious in the way that she tried to stop Emily from pulling away. But Emily knew part of her wanted it too because she was stronger and would have stopped Emily if she had really wanted to.

-

"I love you Naomi, I was fucked off, but I love you," Emily announced as soon as the door was closed behind them.

They stood in silence. Naomi stared her in the eyes, her lip curled up under her teeth on one side. She had a flirtatious look in her eyes that made Emily want to push her against the wall and kiss her face off. But she held back, unsure that Naomi was definitely okay. Emily raised an eyebrow, questioning her with her expressions.

"I love you too, of course I do," Naomi sighed, leaning in and kissing her passionately on the lips. Emily felt the wall behind her and she felt giddy at the thought of being caged between Naomi's kiss and a brick wall. Her body felt hungry, it needed more. But the bell rang and Naomi and Emily pulled part.

-

"Your place or mine?" Emily asked, grinning from ear to ear. But Naomi was barely looking at her, her gaze falling on everything but Emily. It wasn't the reaction she had hoped from the girl who obviously wanted Emily as much as she wanted her.

"I think we need to talk before we rush into anything."

**AN: I would love you to review this story right now, you've just read my hard work, so it's only fair! :-p**


	7. Chapter 7 Naomi

**Thanks a lot for the reviews, they really are nice to get! This chapter was quite a difficult one to write, but it was fun at the same time. I hope you enjoy, or at least like it a little.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Naomi felt sick the moment she kissed Emily. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss her, but that she felt guilty for letting her lips stray. But it wasn't just her lips; it was her heart, her mind, her aching and hunger. Being with Emily usually made her heart feel full and when they were apart, she felt empty. Now they were sat together by the lake where they'd once made love. But she didn't feel full anymore. Emily was explaining her feelings, telling her that it didn't matter that she'd kept the truth from James, that if she had a problem with telling people she should tell her about it and they could talk it through. But her mind was drifting and her stomach was in knots. Her heart was tearing in two at the thought of caring about more than one person.

-

"What are you thinking?" Emily asked, noticing her lack of interest in the conversation.

Naomi turned to her girlfriend, she tried to look her in the eye but it felt wrong, so she stared at her fingers that were now holding her own.

"I have reservations," she admitted, knowing Emily would take it to mean reservations about telling the world about their relationship, but Naomi knew it meant more than that.

-

Emily squeezed her hands supportively, before resting her fingers against Naomi's cheeks. They were going to kiss. Emily was leaning closer and Naomi was frozen on the spot. She let Emily guide them into an embrace, but when Emily's lips touched hers, she imagined that she was kissing James; that Emily's fingers in her hair were Jay's, touching the skin on her neck, kissing her shoulder, lifting up her shirt and kissing her stomach. Naomi lay down against the dirt floor and Emily rested on top of her, kissing her lips again. But it still wasn't Emily, it was James.

-

"No, I can't," Naomi screamed out, pushing her fantasy away, pushing Emily away. She stood up, shaking from head to toe. Emily sat on the dirt floor, nursing a grazed elbow, a look of confusion and pain covering her face.

Naomi stared at Emily, who stared back. Their eyes fixed as though they were having a staring competition. Naomi knew she'd never win, so eventually gave up and looked away. She felt Emily's body standing next to hers, her body so close she could smell Emily's natural scent and the excitement she had felt before Naomi pushed her away. She wasn't smiling, she was crying. Two single tears were sliding down her cheeks.

-

"I don't know what is wrong, but please tell me what I can do to fix this,"

She didn't expect Emily's words. She expected her to ask why she had pushed her away, or what was going on inside her mind. But she sounded like she knew there was something and that Naomi only had to tell her what to do to make things right again.

"I kissed James," she whispered before she had a chance to change her mind. She knew that telling Emily the truth was the only way she would ever fix the mess she had made.

-

Silence is a funny thing, Naomi thought. When you know someone really well it felt comfortable, when you didn't, it felt awkward. When you were anticipating an answer, it could be exciting. But when you were waiting for a reaction, it could be heartbreaking. Naomi watched Emily's reactions; she took a step backwards, her eyes changing expression several times over, her face turning pale.

Emily's lips opened and closed a few times, before she finally spoke. "What? When?"

"Saturday."

-

It was silent again. Emily was still processing what she had heard and what it meant. Naomi was still watching her girlfriends reactions change, until she settled on an expression that Naomi could not place. She wasn't angry, she wasn't hurt, she wasn't anything.

"What do you want to do?" Emily whispered, not daring to look Naomi in the eye as she spoke.

-

Naomi looked to the ground, she knew the dirt wouldn't have answers to Emily's question. But she didn't know what else to do. If she was honest, she wanted James. But she wanted Emily too. She knew that Emily would not accept that as an answer, she wasn't the kind of person to play second fiddle or have half a slice of cake when she could eat it all. She had to choose what she wanted to do, whether she liked it or not. She thought about kissing Emily and how special it had been, confusing in the beginning, but since then it had been enticing and made her feel hungry with desire. But the one kiss she had shared with James was different. She didn't know how, but it was.

-

"I don't know," she finally answered, before letting her mouth take over. "I think I need to see if there's anything there, with him."

There were no tears, there was no shouting, there was no swearing and there was no fighting. There was just silence as Emily pulled her shirt back over her head, picked up her bag and walked away. She'd wanted to follow her, to explain further her answer, to tell her that she still loved her and that she did want to be with her too. But Naomi's knees gave way and her hands found comfort on the dirty ground below. She stayed on her hands and knees for several minutes, wishing there was something she could do to fix the mess she had made. She hated James for coming into her life, she hated Emily for asking her to choose. But mostly she hated herself for ever giving Emily hope and then taking it all away.

**AN: Sorry to anyone sat there shouting at the computer screen saying NOOO! Lol. Please review, even if NOOO is all you have to say. Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8 Emily

**Thank you so much for your reviews for Chapter 7, I was quite suprised how many reviews I've actually had today, definately broken a record there for me! So thanks again to you all for your reviews, they really do mean a lot to know that you're enjoying the story and some of your comments are just too kind.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The week lasted for months, at least that's what it felt like. The days rolled into one long mess of sleeping and not much else. Emily had climbed into bed the moment she arrived home from the incident by the lake.

"What's up with you?" Katie had asked, sitting on the side of the bed and pressing a hand to her forehead like their mum had done almost every time they complained of being ill. "You're not warm but you are very pale."

-

Emily didn't want to talk, she didn't want to vocalise what was happening, through fear it would eat her up from the inside outwards. She couldn't explain to Katie the heavy feeling in her stomach, or the ache in her heart that the doctor would worry about if it wasn't connected to another person. Her mum tried to find out what was wrong after she didn't go down for dinner that night. But Emily didn't want to talk, not even to say hi, or explain that she was tired. She was scared that if she started to say the little things, her mouth would take control and force her to say the big things too, or worse still, cry. The thought of crying left her afraid that she would never stop, that a river would fall from her eyes and drown the world around her. Then she thought it wouldn't be so bad to drown everything, including herself. So that's how she stayed on Tuesday; a motionless body lay in bed; not crying, not eating, not doing anything but lie there. Tuesday became Wednesday, Wednesday became Thursday and Thursday became Friday.

-

On Friday, her mum had stayed home from work to drag her to the doctors, she complied and the doctor prescribed some anti-depressants! She took one when her mum made her, then hid the rest under her pillow, pretending to have taken them whenever her mum had asked. But she didn't get out of bed again after that.

"For crying out loud Ems, get out of bed already," Katie shouted. Emily opened her eyes and was blinded by the suns rays as they entered the room through the window. She squinted and held a hand to her face.

"Fuck Katie, why'd you open the curtains?" her voiced cracked from lack of use, it felt dry and she desperately needed a drink.

"It's three o clock Ems."

"Oh."

-

Emily rolled over and glanced at the clock on the table between their beds, it was in fact three in the afternoon. She yawned and stretched, remembering three am when she had lay awake staring as the numbers changed from 2.50 to 2.51 until 3.13, the last number she could remember reading before drifting off to sleep.

"Mum is doing her nut thinking you're fucking depressed, would you get up so she'll stop bothering me.

"

Katie rolled her eyes as Emily groaned her disapproval. She wanted to laugh at how selfish her sister's comment had sounded. But she was already sick of the sound of Katie's voice, unfortunately she continued.

"Come out tonight, the whole group is going to a party, its gonna be well good."

Emily looked Katie in the eye, wondering if everyone meant Naomi. Not that Katie knew Naomi was the reason she'd stayed in bed all week.

"I doubt Naomi will be there, it's obvious there's something going on, she's not been in college as long as you have."

Shocked, Emily sat up immediately. She didn't expect Katie to have been so observant, she usually wasn't. What right did Naomi have staying off when she was the one who ended it? Emily asked the inside of her head.

"Don't tell me she broke up with you, if she did I'll rip her head off," Katie called out.

-

Emily felt tears in her eyes, she wanted to tell her sister to stop talking, to stop guessing what had happened. She didn't want to hear about Naomi, she didn't want to talk about Naomi and she certainly didn't want to think about her either.

"She did, didn't she?!" Katie gasped, Emily's silence not proving effective in keeping her secrets at bay. Katie started to talk fast about how wrong it was when she was the insecure one, how horrible that girl had always been and how she'd only pretended to be friends with her when Emily ran away. Emily knew that was not true. Katie said Naomi's name at least six times in only a few minutes, six times too many.

"FUCK OFF" Emily screamed, standing up on her bed to get the full impact. Katie took a step back, shocked at Emily's outburst.

"So-rry for caring," she sighed.

-

Emily let her legs bend and she sat back down on her bed, her face red with anger and her emotions fighting to get out of her body.

It took all of her energy to keep them all inside long enough to pull herself together. Katie was still staring at her.

"You really need a night out."

-

The party was in full swing. The building was vibrating from the volume of music pumping out of the music system. Emily followed her sister inside, letting the music move through her and push her thoughts to one side. Then Katie forced several drinks into her hands one after another and she accepted them gratefully. Alcohol was fun usually, she had never used it to wash away her worries. But it worked after multiple shots. She was tipsy enough to get lost in the crowd, lost in dancing and forget about Naomi. Until she saw her stood across the dance floor, talking to Cook and Effy. She wanted to go over; she wanted to grab her by the head, make her squeal in pain and beg for mercy. But most of all she wanted to grab her by the head and kiss her. Before she could do anything she watched Katie push her way through the crowd and stop between Effy and Naomi. She looked Naomi in the eye, then turned her back on, speaking only to Effy.

"What are you doing talking to that skank?"

"I'm standing right here Katie, if you have something to say turn around and say it," Naomi sighed.

Katie raised a hand, still looking at Effy as she spoke, "I'm not talking to you, skank, I'm talking to Effy. So why you talking to her?"

Effy frowned and stayed silent as she so often did.

"She broke my sister's heart did you know that? It's time you made a choice Efs. Her or us."

"I don't believe this" Naomi rolled her eyes "are we in pre-school?"

"I said I'm not talking to you, bitch" Katie turned around, stood as close to Naomi as she said the last word with a mixture of hatred and spite.

Naomi turned and walked away without a word, a look of defeat and regret on her face. Emily sighed. She knew that she was angry with Naomi, that she would happily see her 'head ripped off' by Katie, but she was a loner and if Katie was making everyone choose sides she knew that Naomi would bare the brunt of the situation. Not because people liked Emily better, but because Katie could be such a bitch when it suited her that she would near enough force the group to take her side, which meant taking Emily's.

-

The cold breeze outside felt good on her skin. It was so hot inside that she was sweating just from standing around. JJ was stood beside a bus stop, waiting. Emily went to stand beside him, not even sure whether they were waiting for a bus or just waiting.

"I heard you and Naomi aren't having girl on girl action anymore," he informed her, a piece of information she could have lived without. "Katie said you've been ill which when you take into account the fact that Naomi is no longer your lover, I understand that to mean you're not physically sick and spending the week in bed is merely a process some girls go through when a relationship breaks down, so I doubt it's life threatening, though if you've spent the week not eating or drinking then I think the probability that you'll die is higher than if you just lived in your bed and continued to devour food. Though after a period of time the sanitation would be unthinkable, so really you could probably die of something related to that."

"JJ" Emily cried, taking a deep breath, he nodded.

"I know I'm getting locked on but when I told mum about your situation she told me that girls do that sometimes, wallowing she called it and, yes, she also told me that girls don't like to talk about it...until they choose to. Oh." he stopped talking then.

A bus pulled up at the stop and JJ jumped on, his bus pass in hand. Emily watched him turn around assuming she'd join him, but she shook her head and walked off down the street. She wasn't in the mood for company, not the type of company that required some amount of paying attention. Her head was full of things she didn't want to think about, so adding something new made he anxious that she'd have to let go of something that was already there and the thought of that was still too much for her to bare.

**AN: Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it - please leave a comment! You can now send comments anonymously, so if you tried before but couldn't comment because you don't have a log in, now you can leave a comment!**


	9. Chapter 9 Naomi

**Thank you all soo much for the reviews, it's quite overwhelming seeing so many responses, so thanks for making me feel very happy today!**

**Now I had a little trouble with this chapter, took me quite a while to actually complete, I kept having to go back and forth and change bits and delete bits and add bits. But I hope it's okay, so any feedback about this chapter would be appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The leadership workshops were held at The University of Bristol. The college put on a minibus when it was revealed a number of people were interesting in attending. Taking her seat somewhere in the middle of the bus, Naomi looked around at the others interested in the workshops. She was surprised to find a good mix of males and females, but was not surprised when she discovered that one of them was James. He was a little late and was the last one to board the bus. He took the seat beside her as it was the only one spare; he smiled at her and she smiled back.

-

"Heard you've not been so good,"

"Something like that," she replied, anxiously.

"You looking forward to this leadership thing?" Naomi nodded.

It didn't take long for the minibus to pull up outside the university just in time for the orientation session. Naomi followed James through the crowd of people in the foyer to the main room, where they found two seats not far from the stage. Then a young woman, not much older than them, walked up to the podium and began talking.

"Welcome to the University of Bristol, today you're all here because you've shown an interest in leadership; whether it's political, community based or environmental. Over the course of the day we hope to provide you with some of the skills you will need to set up groups in your schools and colleges to address some of the issues you have an interest in."

-

It was raining when Naomi and James arrived back at college. They sheltered under the smoking hut for a while, hoping the rain would ease off before they attempted to leave the college grounds. Naomi lit up a cigarette and smoked it slowly, her body chilled by the icy water being carried on the wind. She turned to James who was staring at her, his eyes moving up and down her body with interest.

"What?" she asked, smiling back.

"Just admiring the view," he informed her, slipping off his coat and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"You don't need to," she chattered, thankful for the extra layer.

"Yes I do."

-

They finally braved the rain when there was no sign of it stopping and the sun was beginning to set, sending the streets into partial darkness. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her down the road away from the college. She liked the feel of his body next to hers creating a warmth that made her feel happy inside. The day had been enjoyable and the company just as good. As they arrived on the corner of her street, Naomi let him kiss her again. His lips were soft to touch and the feel of his arms holding her so close made her want to stay like that forever. She missed cuddling, she realised. The last time she had cuddled someone was Emily. They arrived at the lake side the weekend before college started back and they spent a couple of hours arm in arm, just talking. Naomi noted how different it was with someone taller than her, she couldn't decide if it was better or not. James kissed her again, pushing his tongue into her mouth and taking control. His hands travelled down the sides of her hips, he pulled her away from the roadside and against a fence at the end of her road. They were sheltered by some trees and Naomi noticed, sheltered from anyone glancing out of their window. She let him seduce her; let him kiss her neck, let him bite her earlobe and let his hands wander in places she knew she shouldn't. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but the moment he touched her, she felt guilty. There were things she'd done with Emily that she associated with her ex-girlfriend and the thought of him doing them to her made her anxious.

"Shall we go somewhere more comfortable?" he whispered, kissing her neck again as he pushed himself against Naomi, making his excitement obvious.

"No," she replied, before she even had time to think about her answer. She knew it was the right decision, but he frowned at her.

"I thought that's where we were leading, we had a good day."

"I know that, I enjoyed it too," she told him, pulling away from his grasp.

"Then what's the problem? Are you a virgin or something?"

-

She didn't like being pressured into something. He wasn't being too full on, but the fact he was put out by the fact she wouldn't let him go all the way left her annoyed. She didn't tell him that though. Instead she shook her head.

"I'm not a virgin. It's not like that,"

"Then what is it like?" he asked, turning around, annoyed.

"I'm just not ready," she assured him. "Not on our first, not even date."

He rolled his eyes and moaned loudly. "Thanks a lot Naomi."

"If that's the way you feel about it, then go home Jay, I'm not just here for your sexual pleasure,"

He looked at her, stared into her deep blue eyes, a smile forming on his lips. She was confused. He seemed so mad that she wanted to wait, then changed his mood so quickly. But his smile was so addictive that she smiled back and kissed him again. Her body ached to be closer to him, her fingers ran through the strands of his hair. But then she pulled away again, still smiling.

"Soon, okay? Just not tonight." He nodded, kissed her forehead and walked away.

-

Naomi lay in bed, her mind racing forwards with all the thoughts under the sun. She remembered the day she'd spent with him; attending workshops, kissing James, feeling happy. But then she remembered the few minutes here and there where she'd thought of Emily, then quickly brushed her aside. It wouldn't have been fair on Jay if she'd took the time to focus on all of her thoughts, it wouldn't have been fair on Emily either. But now that she was alone, each moment flooded back. First it was in the morning when she'd spotted Katie walking through the car park, then when they were sat in their workshop and a girl spoke whose voice was deep and sexy like Emily's. They were little things that reminded her instantly of the girl she still loved and they tripped her up at every hurdle.

"I'm doing the right thing," she whispered to the ceiling, but she knew she was just trying to convince herself.

-

James was amazing she had doubts about that; they had so much in common and laughed together all too often. But she felt lost without Emily and confused by her feelings. She chose James because she was attracted to him and because she needed to see if there was something more to it. But the moment Emily found out the truth, Naomi's heart sank and she regretted ever thinking about leaving her. But now it was too late and she was stuck with her decision. She liked James, she was physically attracted to him, but deep down she knew that Emily would always be the one she loved.

**AN: Thanks for reading and I hope you'll leave a comment! It really is the best thing you can do in return if you've enjoyed the story.**

**I am not 100% where this story is going to end up, so when you comment this chapter, please say if you want Naomily to end up back together, or if you don't. That way I can see where the majority are wanting the result, doesn't mean I will end the story there, but I really would like to know what you guys think.**

**Also, any ideas for a third part to the Naomily stories I have posted would be appreciated and may help me to figure out whether Naomily have a happy ending in this one or not.**


	10. Chapter 10 Emily

**Thank you for the reviews, it seems that an overwhelming majority (aka 99-9% of you) seem to want a happy ending for our favourite couple. I'm still pondering the possibilities and wondering if a third part is possible. But right now my brain won't think of ideas, except a couple that don't seem that nice.**

**Just a small warning, it's a bit descriptive later on, so don't eat anything while reading this chapter. Also, sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

A strong smell of tobacco filled the air. Emily looked around for the person smoking in the queue to the club. She caught sight of the cigarette, then rolled her eyes as Katie screamed and jumped into the arms of the smoker, her boyfriend. They kissed, his hands all over her in a greasy slimy way that made Emily think she was on to something being gay. She ignored the slobbering and moaning coming from behind her as she entered the club. The music was loud and the lights were flashing all around, she felt exhilarated, excited for what the evening could hold. A man wrapped his arm around her shoulder and sneezed into her ear, she swore at him and pulled herself away.

-

"Can I have a vodka and coke?" she asked the bar staff then paid for her drink. It felt cool running down her throat, a welcomed relief from the heat of the room. It filled her head with a layer of alcohol related fog. It was the tenth night in a row that she'd ended up at some party, drinking alcohol and dancing the night away. She didn't usually go out every night with college, but ever since the incident she decided to change her patterns.

-

It helped that Naomi and James were a couple and that he hung around her neck, displaying his affection publically. Every time she saw him touch her, or kiss her, she wanted to do something to remove the image from her mind. Sometimes she would watch them together from afar. He would whisper into her ear and she would giggle like it was the funniest thing in the world. But Emily didn't find any of it funny. Katie often caught her looking and questioned her motive, but she had become very good at hiding her feelings, lying to herself as well as those around her.

-

Emily let the music flow through her, her body moving to the rhythm. She felt free in the middle of the dance floor; free from people assuming how she felt, free from prejudice of the few at college who didn't like that she was gay, but mostly free from Naomi and the pain she had locked up inside. She felt two arms wrap around her stomach and she swayed to the music, not caring who was so close she could smell the aftershave soaked into his skin. She looked up into his eyes and stared at the deep grey pupils. She let his mouth come down to cover hers, his tongue quickly slipping into her mouth. It felt horrible, it tasted horrible and she felt like she was going to be sick. He called after her as she ran towards a door, she didn't know if it was the toilets, she didn't care.

-

The smoking patio sat behind the club, behind the door she had mistaken for the toilets. It didn't matter because she didn't need to go and the sick feeling had gone as soon as she'd hit the fresh air. Her face felt flushed and a layer of sweat was covering her body. She asked a nearby girl for a cigarette and puffed on the tobacco mix in her mouth. She didn't really smoke normal cigarettes, but she felt like she had to pretend to smoke just to stand in the patio. That wasn't the case as there were several people just talking, away from the noise of the club.

"Who would you rather kiss; Lindsay Lohan or Brad Pitt?" a brunette guy asked the girl who'd given her a cigarette.

"Isn't it obvious? LiLo all the way." she laughed, then he asked the question again, looking to Emily for an answer. She shrugged her shoulders then said the first thing to come out of her mouth.

"Lindsay Lohan, why anyone would want to kiss Brad Prick or any guy for that matter is beyond me? No offence."

-

It took a minute for the two to react and in that time Emily regretted what she said instantly. She wasn't afraid of admitting she was gay, but she wasn't as anti-men as she just sounded. Her answer came off well and they both laughed out loud. Emily tried to laugh along with them, but she felt faint. She held on to the wall beside her to stop her from falling over. After a while Michael, as he had introduced himself, disappeared back into the club. But Simone decided to stay outside because 'the company is good'. Emily smiled, not sure what was going to happen as a result. But she felt nervous, sickly. She had only been with one girl and that was Naomi, she was her experiment in middle school and she was her first and only girlfriend or boyfriend to date. Now she was stood on the cusp of something new. The possibility of kissing a girl she didn't know, let alone didn't know if she liked.

-

The first kiss was easy, it was different to Naomi's, but it was similar. She wondered if that was what kissing women was like. Then Simone kissed her again, deeper, more passionate and longer. It felt good to kiss someone who didn't make her want to be sick. It wasn't that the guy she'd kissed was male, but more that he wasn't Naomi and she hadn't been expecting it. The kiss intensified and she could feel Simone pushing her hand under her skirt, looking for more than just a kiss. Emily took a deep breath, trying to process what was happening when she was interrupted.

"Ew, check the lezzers out in the corner, can't you get a guy?"

Emily took a step backwards, the voice recognisable to only those who knew him. She turned to face her sister's boyfriend as he continued to make homophobic comments. Katie appeared behind him, completely unaware of what had just happened.

"You wanna go somewhere else?" Simone asked Emily, she told her she'd meet her inside in a few minutes.

-

Katie stared at her sister, a look of confusion spread across her face. Emily told her what Vik had said and she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Your so called boyfriend obviously doesn't agree with my lifestyle choice."

"He's not against gay people Ems, he's just drunk," Katie defended him.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Are you sure about that?"

"Course, he's never said it before."

"Did you even tell him I'm a lesbian?" she asked, almost spitting the question out with anger.

"No, it's none of his business."

"Except that I'm your twin sister and he's your boyfriend."

There was an expression on Katie's face that Emily knew too well, a look of defensiveness that she put up when she knew she was in the wrong. To the average person it appeared confident, but to Emily, it was fake. She let Katie walk away, let her win the argument for her good, rather than Emily's. Katie could be feisty, she could bite the tongue off most bitches, but she also had her flaws and her biggest was the need to think she'd won when she was far from winning.

-

The toilets were quite clean, except for the odd piece of toilet roll hanging around the floor. It was a cliché, but Emily had taken a couple of shots and was feeling light headed. Simone pulled her into a cubicle. There were still a couple of girls in the toilets, but she knew none of them would bat an eyelid at girls sharing a toilet cubicle, especially after a few drinks. It made her giggle knowing she was about to do something that many girls wouldn't expect to happen in the girls loos. Simone pulled the toilet lid down and sat on top, pulling Emily towards her and kissing her lips. They kissed hungrily, fighting the urge not to rip each others clothes off. She'd never had sex with anyone but Naomi. Emily didn't feel scared, she didn't feel nervous, until it dawned on her that she didn't feel anything. She didn't care about Simone, she didn't like her and she certainly didn't love her. But she let this woman, this stranger who she'd only just met remove her top and push her up against the wall of the cubicle in a passionate embrace.

-

The door closed behind Simone after a quick goodbye. She hadn't left a number and Emily hadn't given her one either. Her knees were weak and when she tried to stand, she fell to the floor, her knees resting in something she hoped was water. Locking the cubicle door again, Emily sat down against it. Her head was a mess of emotions. She had sex with a woman she didn't know and she felt nothing. When she'd had sex with Naomi, she felt an ache to be beside her, a hunger to be with her and a tug of her heart every time she heard or spoke her name. Naomi was part of her and she was part of Naomi. Without her she was broken and part of her had gone away. All the emotions of the last few months came flooding back; the betrayal, the kiss, the choice.

-

Her mobile phone beeped in her pocket and she looked at the screen. Her eyes were blurring and she could feel her body become weak. All the thoughts she had locked away, all the feelings she had avoided feeling, filled her head all at once and she felt sick to the stomach. Naomi, Simone, Naomi, James, Naomi. It all came back to the same thing, the same person. It was rising up inside of her, like water filling the engine room of a boat. She was getting fuller and fuller until there wasn't enough room and her thoughts started to overflow. She lifted the toilet seat just in time to watch her inside fly down the toilet. Her gut wrenched, pain stabbing her stomach and her throat. She choked out a cry and let her stomach overflow again. She kept going until she began to dry heave. Her face was red, her body shaking from the cold. She reached to her phone to call Katie and barely made it back to the toilet, gagging again. Katie's voice was shouting into the phone, but she could barely hear it. Sweat was forming on her forehead. Her last thoughts were of Naomi as she felt her eyes close and her body slide to the floor in a heap.

**AN: Thanks for reading and I hope you'll leave a comment so that I can wake up in the morning to lots of thoughts and feelings about this chapter. You know you want to say something... :-p**


	11. Chapter 11 Naomi

**Thanks a lot for the reviews, they were so nice to read and I'm glad you guys are still enjoying the story! Sorry it took me most of the day to get another chapter up, I was so tired last night that I didn't have chance to make a start on the chapter and I actually struggled with it a little. It's a little shorter than I would have liked, but I'm sure you'll survive. Got a busy afternoon so I won't be able to post again til this evening...but keep your eyes peeled!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Emily was on her hands and knees, her eyes staring into Naomi's, a flirtatious smile spread across her face. It was perfect. Naomi reached forwards and let their lips touch. But it wasn't Emily she was kissing, it was James. She noted the irony and let her hands run through the back of his hair. She wanted to want him. She wanted to feel physically attracted to him. She wanted to feel close enough to let him into her heart, into her body, but every time he touched her, she thought of Emily. Every waking moment was filled with the girl she loved. When she woke up she thought about the times they'd woken up together, throughout the day every little thing would remind her of what she no longer had; no Emily waiting outside her lessons, no Emily to eat lunch with and no Emily to tell her to reapply her makeup when it smudged. James didn't care about the little things, the things that made her love Emily the more she did them. He didn't know how to make her feel special or how to make her feel like she was a living, breathing person and not just a surviving one. He was a boy who she had felt attracted to, sure. But he didn't give her a reason to get up in the morning. Most of all, he wasn't Emily.

-

"Stop," she gasped, putting a hand against his chest to keep him at arms length.

"What now?" he sighed.

"Don't sound so pissed off."

"I'm sick of the go around, you want me, you don't want me, do you even know what the fuck you want?"

Did she even know what she wanted? She didn't think so. But she wouldn't admit that to him. He'd hit the nail on the head and it had left her shaken. She didn't like someone knowing her better than herself. Except Emily.

-

"Is that why your friends don't talk to you?" he continued, not realising how much he was hurting her.

"It's complicated."

"It always is with you women," he rolled his eyes.

Naomi felt tears beginning to build in her eyes. She felt anger and resentment at his comments. Then she watched him walk out of the room and she realised that she didn't care if he never walked back in again.

-

The room was silent. The house was empty. Naomi lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She wanted to cry but her body already felt exhausted as though she'd spent weeks sobbing. An unfamiliar pain had rooted itself in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't explain it but she knew she felt disgusted. Disgusted at the way she had acted. For once her life had been going well, Emily was great, their relationship was everything she'd dreamt a relationship would be. But she'd been selfish. She had acted like the bitches she didn't like; throwing away her chance of love and friendship for the sake of a guy who only really showed an interest in sex. She had allowed her life to self destruct and when she had the chance to stop the bomb going off, she chose to wait until it was too late, letting the explosion hit her square in the chest, bringing Emily down hardest. She wondered if, had she believed in a god, this would mean she would end up in hell. She couldn't believe the pain she'd put Emily through or the stupid things she had done to further fuel the flames. Emily had relied on her to be there, to love her and instead she'd let her down.

-

The hospital smelled like hospitals; a level of cleanliness that would make OCD sufferers happy. The pale walls were depressing and the constant noises up and down almost every corridor made Naomi wonder how anyone stayed sane working or staying there. She wasn't even sure why she'd come. She'd got a call off Effy not long after James had left, informing her that Emily was taken there after a night out. The moment Effy said hospital and Emily in the same sentence, Naomi felt weak. Her first thought was of worry and then regret that she couldn't be there to comfort the girl she loved. Then she realised she could be there, if she wanted to, if Emily wanted her to. She considered calling Katie, but knew her response to the question would be aggressive, rather than the indifference she would have hoped for. So turning up at the hospital was her only hope.

"What are you doing here?" Katie asked, her fists clenched as she walked down the corridor looking ready to kill.

"I heard about Ems, is she okay?"

"No thanks to you," Katie snarled, staring her down.

"This is not my fault, I wasn't there,"

Katie shook her head, barely listening to her, "Everything's your fault." Naomi scoffed.

She knew everything was her fault. She knew it was her fault that Emily was heartbroken, it was her fault that James was pissed off and it was her fault that Katie hated her more than she did before they even became friends. She had fucked up not only her life, but the lives of everyone around her. But that didn't mean she wanted to walk away and leave Emily to clean up after her. Katie sat down on a chair outside of Emily's room, a magazine in her hands and a piece of chewing gum in her mouth. It looked like she was there for the long term and not just to stop Naomi from entering the room. Naomi walked away. She knew her chances of getting to see Emily were slim, but she hung around the corner anyway just in case. Eventually Katie got up and disappeared into the toilets, giving Naomi the opportunity she needed to sneak into Emily's room.

**AN: Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it, or even if you want to say something constructive - please comment!**


	12. Chapter 12 Emily

**Thanks for the reviews!!! I quite enjoyed writing this chapter, I would have written more but I didn't get the chance to write any on my journeys this afternoon. But ahh well, there's always tomorrow! I will try and do some more for later this evening, but no promises. It's been a long day and I do need sleep before tomorrow.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

There was nothing on TV, Katie had taken the only good magazine and there were no books to read. Emily sighed whilst she rested her head against the pillows. She was bored and she decided that she hated hospitals. They were noisy, there was no privacy and the amount of different smells that went past the often open door could make even the sickest person feel even more sickly. At least her parents had gone private, allowing her to have her own room, away from the annoying ailments of others. She knew that many couldn't help what was wrong with them, but the thought of spending more than a few minutes with people who were being sick, or those who had been in for weeks. She just hated the atmosphere. Then the door opened and the person she had least expected walked through the door.

"This hospital looks better and better," she murmured, closing her eyes.

"Erm, hi," Naomi whispered, looking slightly comfortable. "I hope you don't mind me coming to see you."

"How did you get past my body guard?" Emily rolled her eyes, thinking about her sisters protectiveness.

"Toilet break."

-

The hospital itself didn't bother her anymore; the smells, the noise, it was nothing compared to being forced to see her ex-girlfriend when she was less than well. She closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them again, Naomi would be gone. But she wasn't.

"What do you want?"

"To see you, to see how you are," Naomi informed her, "I was worried."

Emily gritted her teeth, "I'm fine."

"What happened? I heard you collapsed in a club."

"I have a virus," Emily told her, not sure why she gave her the satisfaction. "I was sick, I got dehydrated, I passed out."

It was cold, it was harshly put, but she didn't care. The thought of spending any longer with Naomi was too much to bare. But the thought of her leaving worried her.

-

Naomi sat down on the chair beside the bed. She didn't ask if it was okay, she just took it. Emily wanted to scream at her to leave, she wanted to beg her never to go anywhere again. But instead she just sat there, silently staring at the cream coloured walls.

"I can't stop thinking about you," Naomi finally admitted.

It made her angry. Naomi was supposed to be there to show her concern, to tell her how worried she was about Emily's health. But when it came down to it, she just wanted to tell her that she couldn't stop thinking about her. That she didn't know how to deal with her feelings, or emotions. Emily tried to stay calm, but she thought of the anti-depressants the doctor had given her and the new batch she'd been prescribed since.

-

The door opened, Katie's face peered into the room looking confused, until she spotted Naomi still sat in the chair. Emily waited until Katie started to shout and get angry at Naomi for being there, for making things worse.

"You're not wanted here Naomi, Emily doesn't want you, so get out."

The room filled with an eerie silence, Katie looked angry, but she didn't say anything more. She just stared at Naomi like an eagle staring at it's pray. Naomi didn't move. Emily looked from her sister to Naomi and back again, Katie was turning red, Naomi looked almost indifferent.

"I'm not going anywhere until Emily tells me she wants me gone," Naomi told Katie, raising an eyebrow.

-

She knew she'd left it too long. She knew she should step in. But there was something entertaining about Katie pulling Naomi out of a chair, trying to force her out of the room. They scuffled like schoolgirls; pulling hair, nails drawn, teeth getting ready to bite down on skin if need be. It was the first time Emily had smiled in a while and she wondered if it was wrong to feel the way she did. Then Katie had Naomi in the doorway and she was about to give in and leave.

"Wait," she called out. "I want you to go, but I want to say something first."

Katie let go of Naomi's wrists, an argumentative look on her face, until Emily told her to leave them alone for a minute and not to disturb her again until Naomi had left. She nodded, then whispered a threat into Naomi's ear on her way out. They were alone again. Naomi stood at the end of the bed looking into her eyes, expecting her to speak.

-

"I am done Naomi," she whispered, before silencing Naomi who's mouth was about to open. "I don't want you to say anything, I don't want to go through this anymore."

She felt stronger than she had in months. She knew it was too soon for the anti-depressants to be kicking in, but she felt that she'd woken up from a nightmare and after a long road, she'd finally found the answers she'd been looking for.

"Look at me," Emily muttered, but Naomi's eyes were fixed on the floor.

"LOOK AT ME," Naomi finally complied. "This is what I've become Naomi, this is the person I have become…because of you."

-

The room stayed silent. Naomi looked to the floor, tears obviously falling from her eyes. Emily knew she had been tough, she knew it wasn't all Naomi's fault that she was there. But she felt hurt and angry and upset and she felt the need to hurt Naomi back. Neither of them said anything. Emily closed her eyes and tried to block out the past. But she knew that imprinted on the inside of her eyelids were images of her and Naomi together, happy. She opened her eyes again and watched the girl she had once loved more than life, walk out of the room and for the first time, she didn't care if she ever walked back in again.

**AN: Thank you for reading and I hope you'll comment on this story (don't forget you non-members of , anonymous reviews are accepted on this story ;-) ).**


	13. Chapter 13 Naomi

**Thanks a lot for the reviews, I really do like them, they're so much fun to read and you guys have been so helpful in making this story what it is, thanks to all your comments and thoughts on the storylines that have been happening.**

**This chapter is a little shorter than most have been, but it was a real struggle and it's a bit random in the middle.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

She wished it didn't hurt, but it did. Emily had always known how to make her happy, but this time she knew exactly how to make her sad. She was right, she knew she was right. It had taken her a while to see it, but she finally knew that she was to blame for the mess they were in and that Emily would be the happy, fun girl she used to be, if Naomi had never been in her life. But then she thought about the summer and the months they had shared, full of happiness, laughter and special moments together. It had been perfect and now they were apart, Naomi couldn't help think about what they had and how much she missed it.

-

The street was quiet, the day drawing to a close and the street lights illuminating the area. She didn't feel like going home to her near enough empty house, to her empty bedroom, to her empty thoughts. The street was empty, but it felt more filling than her home ever could. It wasn't that she hated her home, or her mum, or her life most of the time. It just didn't feel like the kind of home where you wanted to be when you were away.

-

The climbing frame was cold, but she sat on it anyway. She liked to sit in the park, when the light was gone and the children had gone home. It made her feel like she was in on some big secret about what happened when nobody was there to see. A memory of her childhood came flooding back; she'd spent the day in the park with her friends and when it reached dinner time, their parents came to pick them up. They'd offered her a lift, but she declined, stating that her dad was on his way and she didn't mind waiting alone. She'd sat in the park as the sun set and she felt something change. It was as though the darkness changed the park, made it seedy, or frightening, or to a child, exciting. She didn't need to ask why her dad never came to pick her up, because when the police came and took her home, she saw her mum crying and they had told her the accident had happened only streets from where she'd been playing. She didn't know why she thought about that night, or why she cried when she pictured her seven year old self sitting on that very same climbing frame, excited because she'd been left alone in the dark. She pulled a cigarette out of her bag and tried to light it, but the air was breezy and any flame extinguished instantly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she screamed out into the darkness, throwing her lighter across the floor in a rage.

-

She needed a nicotine fix. She hated thinking about her dad, she hated thinking about the mess her life had become since that day. She hated the fact that Emily had made her feel whole and now she hated the fact that she felt broken again.

Naomi knew she didn't know what she wanted, except that she wanted to blame other people. She blamed Emily for making her love her, she blamed James for making her betray Emily, she blamed her mum for her dad's death and she blamed her dad for leaving her too soon. She didn't want to blame other people anymore, she was sick of being selfish.

It was an easy decision to make; a decision she thought about for hours before she felt too cold to sit on the climbing frame anymore. She was to blame for loving Emily and she was to blame for betraying her. She knew she wasn't to blame for her dad's death, but she was to blame for blaming him and her mum for various things that were beyond their control. She decided that she would let go of the past and grab the future with both hands. Emily didn't want her anymore, but if she gave her some space, then maybe she could try again and fight for the girl who was always fighting for her.

**AN: Thanks for reading, don't forget to review and make a writer very happy! ;-)**


	14. Chapter 14 Emily

**Thanks a lot for all of your reviews over the last chapter. This chapter has taken a lot longer to get up than I would have liked. But today has been pretty hectic (I got an email off a US summer camp where I may be working in the summer, woo!) so I've had my mind all over the place. But I did manage to write on my mobile (despite the battery being so low I didn't think I'd make it home with it still on) and I'm just in the process of uploading the next two chapters to my computer to edit and finish off. So the next few chapters should be pretty quick up...**

**Note: I don't really know much about anti-depressants, but I have a friend who used to take some, so I'm basing certain aspects of that on her experiences. They may not be completely accurate, but I'm not a doctor, or a chemist and Google only tells you so much.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The small pill went down easily and the water helped to wash it down. She hated taking medication, she hated swallowing something that wasn't really supposed to be there. She understood painkillers and antibiotics, but she didn't really get anti-depressants. They were cold, un-emotive drugs that left the taker a bare resemblance of the person they once were. The doctor said they would make her feel better and for the most part, they did. She didn't feel upset, she didn't feel angry and she didn't feel like she couldn't handle her emotions. After a week of taking them they began to make a bit of difference, but she didn't feel happy or able to deal with the problems in life. She didn't feel anything at all. Emily sat in bed watching Katie get ready for college. She wished she could have joined her, could have gone to start rebuilding her shattered life. But her mum had insisted on one more day in bed to recover from the virus.

-

"Don't forget to bring me back something to do," Emily reminded Katie, eager to find a way out of her boredom and worrying about not completing her exams, or at least thinking about failing. She thought about worry and how much time she had spent worrying in her life. It was an emotion she often disliked but she realised that on the grand scheme of things it wasn't so bad, it was better to worry than not feel anything.

"You must be the only person in history to want to do work when they're ill."

"You should try spending a week in hospital then being forced to stay home by mum."

Katie smiled, a look of empathy spread across her face and Emily was reminded of the broken leg she had suffered summers ago.

"If you think it's bad now, you should have seen her then," Katie laughed thinking about the same thing and Emily joined in.

-

It felt different to laugh; like her mouth was laughing along but her head was still trying to catch up on the joke. She didn't like it. Laughing was fun, it was something people enjoyed to do and she wanted to feel angry that she couldn't do it. But the pills got in the way of that too. She wondered if it was all in her head. When she was lay on the toilet floor of the club she wanted to be rid of every thought and feeling in her, now she was rid of them but the inability to feel the things that had almost drowned her scared her. If she really needed to feel, would she still just feel indifferent or would she be able to break free from her anti-depressant prison?

"I don't know if you're cut out for college" Katie mused, whilst applying her makeup.

Emily frowned, "what do you mean?"

"This is your second year and again right before your exams you're not here, well this time you're here physically, but not mentally."

"Thanks," Emily laughed again, the absence of feeling not escaping her.

"You know what I mean, don't you?" she checked and Emily nodded.

Emily continued to watch Katie go about her daily routine of makeup, hair and clothes. She didn't really want to watch her, she wanted to curl up in her bed and sleep, letting the world pass by like she had done weeks previous.

-

The week she'd spent in bed was a blur, she could barely remember it, probably because there wasn't much to remember except for the presence of Naomi in her bed. No matter how she had tried to deny any thought or feeling, Naomi had been there the whole time.

"Naomi is confused again" Emily whispered, making Katie look up from the mirror. "I told her where to go."

"Good, the bitch needs to stay away."

Emily took a deep breath "I loved her Katie, I know you never agreed with it but I did, still do, I love her."

Katie frowned, "You're not thinking about having her back are you? Don't be stupid Ems you did good letting her go."

-

Katie had finished reapplying her make up and had moved on to packing her bag with as many personal effects as she could carry, along with the bare necessities of college equipment and notes. Emily rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm not going back, not now; not unless something changes."

"So you're thinking about it?" Katie checked, not sure whether to slap her or hug her.

"It's not like that, I just don't know. I can't feel a thing, but if Naomi is willing to work then maybe...oh, I don't know, I just don't want to rule anything out."

Katie stared at her, "She broke your heart!"

"I know, but I cant help how I feel," Emily sighed.

"Don't do anything right now,"

"Wasn't going to, bed rest all the way," Emily rolled her eyes.

"I mean for a while, don't rush back into it or this will happen again."

"You don't know that," she told her defensively.

"Ems..."

"I'm not going to jump into bed with her the first time I see her, I'm not that stupid."

Katie finally left for college, leaving Emily alone with her thoughts. Katie was right, though Emily didn't usually admit it. Rushing into taking Naomi back was the wrong thing to do, it was too soon and ultimately would probably end in the same place they were now.

**AN: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you can find the time to leave a small comment!**


	15. Chapter 15 Naomi

**Thanks for the reviews, I would have liked to have got a couple more before posting this chapter, but I have posted less than normal today, so here's the next chapter anyway. I now know where I am going with this story and have a part through being planned out in my head as we speak, it will probably be the final part since I have countless assignments to do (13000 words worth, if only I could hand in this story and be done with it). Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

So far so good. Naomi had managed to avoid bumping into the three people she didn't want to see right now; Katie, Emily and James. It's not that she didn't want to see Emily but she was scared to see her, scared to face her after the incident at the hospital. She didn't even know if she was back at college. Effy had told her she was released from hospital, but that's all the news anyone seemed to have. As for James, she had to take a detour through a science room to avoid walking past him on the stairs. It was a near miss and one that left her feeling tired of running. Katie was an easy one to avoid for most of the day, except the final lesson which they shared. Naomi considered leaving after fourth period, but with the exams coming up in a matter of weeks she really needed the extra contact time to clear up a few unreadable notes.

-

Before she even got into the history room she was ushered out by her personal tutor wanting to 'discuss university' with her. So she followed her into her office and listened to her spiel about picking from her acceptances based on what was right for her. Not on where her boyfriend "or in your case girlfriend" she added, as though she knew what was going on in the lives of her students. Naomi wanted to laugh at her for getting it wrong but she stayed silent. She hadn't thought about university in weeks. In the summer her and Emily had talked about where they would go and what they would do. For Naomi it had been a simple decision, she would do politics at any university that Emily was attending. She didn't care if it was the best politics department, or if it had the best nightlife or if it had a good gym. Just as long as it had Emily. Emily wasn't even sure she wanted to go to university, she claimed to have not found her calling yet and didn't see the point in wasting three years and god knows how much money on a course she didn't enjoy. Then things began to change and they weren't together. So Naomi had no idea where to apply, so she applied to Bristol, Bath and Cardiff so that she could be near home if things changed. She received three offers, but hadn't taken the time to formally accept any. Her tutor finally let her go and she walked back to the lesson thinking about Emily and their delayed plans.

-

She wished she could have discussed it with her. She was pulled from her thoughts by Katie. The twin of her previous other half was staring at her and wouldn't even let her walk into the classroom. Naomi looked around and noticed their teacher moving around the room, assisting anyone who needed it. Katie pushed her out of the room, burning a hole in her head.

"Why do you keep doing it?" she asked.

Naomi got on the defensive, "Keep doing what?"

"Getting into her head, making her want you, making her change what she had decided, she was doing okay until you came to the hospital. Did you finally get the message? Leave her alone."

Naomi wasn't in the mood for Katie's bitch act, she had got the message loud and clear, but she wasn't willing to give up the fight, not yet.

"I got the message," was all she could say before turning around and walking out of the college. She laughed as she went, wondering what Katie would do if she found out where she was going.

-

The bedroom was dark, the curtains drawn. Naomi wondered if Emily had been asleep, but she pulled the covers from her face and mumbled some comment that Naomi assumed was directed to her mum. When Emily saw her she didn't speak, she just watched her walk across the room and sit on the bed opposite.

"What are you doing here?" she eventually found her voice.

"I had to go see my personal tutor about university and I realised I had no idea where to go, then Katie took the opportunity to warn me to leave you alone, again. I had you on the mind, I had to come and see you."

Emily's voice was cold as she spoke, "You didn't have to do anything Naomi, you wanted to do, at least admit it."

"Fine, I wanted to see you," she admitted, biting her lip with her teeth.

"Make it quick, I'm busy." Emily told her, not removing her icy exterior.

"I had a lot of time to think after the chat in the hospital, you were right. It hurt when you said it, but I am to blame for this whole mess. I couldn't say that before, but now I know I need to stand up and admit my mistakes. James...was a mistake. He was a mistake that cost me everything that made me happy. I sacrificed everything for nothing."

"Is there a point to this or are you just going to tell me anything that comes to mind?" Naomi took a deep breath, not sure how to feel about Emily's lack of patience.

"My point is, you may be done with this. But I'm not. You've spent the last two years fighting for me, fighting to be with me. Now it's my turn and I wont give up easily."

"Finally," Emily sighed "finally you've noticed how much work I have done to keep us together."

-

Naomi smiled, Emily's words were positive and she hoped that would mean she didn't have to fight very hard. But then Emily's expression changed.

"It's too late Naomi, its too late to start fighting for me. I'm out, I don't want to be with you. Please accept that and move on, so that I can move on too."

Naomi felt deja-vu. She lowered her head, disappointed that Emily had turned her down. She'd tried to fight, but she didn't know how many more disappointments she could face. She wasn't used to things going her way, but she'd never fought for anything before in her life. There was something inside of her that wanted to keep fighting, that wasn't ready to give caring about Emily. But there was another part of her that decided that maybe it was too late, too much had happened and maybe she should just move on.

**AN: Thanks for reading, you don't know how much I appreciate your reading this story - but one thing that puzzles me ever so slightly. There are hundreds of people out there reading each chapter - yet only 7-10 leave reviews each time. Who's sat at home reading this and then moving on? Go on, I know you want to post a comment. Go on. ;-)**


	16. Chapter 16 Emily

**Thanks a lot for the reviews, I really do love getting them, they're so fun to read! This chapter isn't the longest (it's one of only 3 chapters under 1000 words, dun dun duuuh, lol), but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The door closed behind her and she felt a sense of freedom mixed with a new hope for the future. She had just finished her last counselling session and she felt clearer than she ever had before. It felt easy to talk to Maria, she had welcomed her openly and even though it was her job she actually seemed like she really cared about what she was saying. It was easy to tell her about Naomi, about her sexuality. She didn't feel judged and Maria didn't feel threatened by it. It was weird to think that it was easier to spill her heart out to a stranger than to friends and family. But that was what her counselling sessions were like.

-

That final session she had talked about what she was going to do next with her life and they'd created an action plan setting out the things she wanted to do and a timescale to complete them. The first thing on the list was university; after Naomi talked about it, she decided she had to make some decisions about her future. She had never completed the application. It was late in the day for applying but Emily had decided to do it. She probably wouldn't get her first choices, as the most popular would have been filled up months ago. But she didn't care if it was the best course or the best uni, she just wanted to do something to move forwards with her life and the first step was getting a good education. Her other first step was to finally settle the score with Naomi. She'd tried to talk to Emily, tried to have a conversation where they could really talk and both times Emily had turned her away. It was the right thing at that time, but Emily needed to sit down with her properly and be honest with her feelings, to tell Naomi exactly what she felt. Most importantly to let them both move on with their lives knowing that they wouldn't be holding each other back.

-

More than anything Emily wanted to stop taking pills, to stop feeling controlled emotions. They were getting better, she could finally feel anger and hurt, but she didn't feel them fully. She wanted to feel...something that was hers and not something that was held back by drugs.

-

Katie stood up and hugged her sister, congratulating her on completing her counselling. Emily found the whole thing amusing since Katie had commented on how crazy it made everyone think she was. Emily had a sneaking suspicion that their mum had played a part in Katie's comment. It didn't matter where it came from though, because Emily felt like it was a job well done and that the congratulations was appreciated.

"Wanna go get some lunch?" Katie asked as they walked out of the clinic.

"No," Emily answered abruptly without even thinking. Katie looked upset so Emily re-evaluated her answer and tried again.

"I want to, but I have to do something first, can I meet you in a couple of hours?"

"You're not going seeing her, are you?" she asked, the emphasis on her making it apparent who. Emily nodded.

"How can you do that?" she looked flabbergasted. "Do you have a short memory or something? She put you in this place."

"So much happened between us and I need to make a few things clear, every time we talked one of us was angrier than the other. Now that I'm feeling better, I need to do this, I need to know that I've done everything I can to deal with the situation."

"The situation is over,"

"No, it's not, not while Naomi still thinks she can win me back."

-

Katie begrudgingly let her go. She wished that one day Katie would just accept her choices and let her make mistakes of her own, instead of feeling the need to protect her at all costs. Emily was thankful for Katie's protectiveness, it was nice at times to feel that someone was out there constantly watching your back. But other times it was stifling. Emily remembered the conversation she'd had with Maria a couple of sessions previous. She'd told her that people who were protective just wanted to feel useful and part of the life of the person they were protecting. Emily knew that since before Naomi had come along, she'd been pulling away from her sister, trying to break the invisible rope that held them together constantly. Katie didn't. She carried on going at full speed, pulling Emily along with her. They had a tug of war going on from time to time, but now Emily was still pulling in the direction away from Katie, with the rope growing every time she pulled away. Sometimes she had to remember to pull herself back in and give Katie what she needed to feel wanted.

**AN: Thanks for reading, please review, please leave a positive comment, or a constructive comment...they're useful in motivating me and helping me to get the next chapter up sooner!!! The quicker I get reviews, the quicker I post.**


	17. Chapter 17 Naomi

**Thank you so much for your reviews, this chapter is the start of the tie up of the story. There's only a couple of chapters left. But have no fear, I have a third part planned in my head. Though at the moment I only have a basic set up and still need to develop some storyline ideas. But one thing I would like to know is, do you want it to be only have Naomi/Emily in it or Naomi/Emily and Katie too? Katie seems to be quite popular in this story, but I will only include her in the next part if people really want her, otherwise she doesn't necessarily need to be there.**

**Thanks to Sox for noticing a mistake I made with the chapter before, most of you probably didn't see it since I fixed it up quite quickly.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Avoiding someone in a college was not easy, especially when that someone was in one of your lessons. Naomi had tried to ignore James, she wanted to pretend he didn't exist. But the truth was he did exist and she couldn't just pretend. It made her politics lessons very difficult to handle, when the reason for her betrayal was sat only feet away. It made it difficult to try to move on and find a way to prove to Emily that she was serious about getting her back. But she managed to hold him off, until now.

-

She walked out of college at the end of her exam, she didn't know how well she did. There were some questions she knew everything she needed to write, whilst others were so hard that she barely wrote anything that made sense. The weather was good; not too hot and not too cold. There was a cool breeze that fought against the suns rays, making it pleasant enough to stay outside for a longer period of time. Naomi didn't feel like going home, it wasn't even lunchtime yet and her mum probably wouldn't be there.

-

"Not easy was it?" a deep voice asked then a body crowded over her. She could see his shadow and feel his breath on her neck.

"Jay?" she whispered, more shocked than anything.

"I don't think I've don't very good,"

She wanted to ignore him, to walk away, but instead she answered him, "Me neither."

He fell into step beside her and they walked through the high street in silence. When they were away from the bustle of the town, James slipped a hand into hers. She jumped at his touch, but didn't want to tell him not to, she let his hand rest there, barely holding it back.

"I miss you," he told her.

Naomi turned to face him, a slight smile on her face. She may not have been very attracted to him, but there was still something there, no matter how small.

"Can we try again?" he asked.

"I've missed you too," she told him, then continued in a whisper that she hoped he'd hear "but as a friend."

-

Any normal person would have told him to piss off and leave her alone. But she was lonely. Her friends never talked to her because Katie was still chewing their ears off and her mum had a new boyfriend, so she rarely had time for her. She allowed him to walk her home, his hand curled into hers, despite telling him a second time that she just wanted to be friends. She knew she should let go, but she felt a warmth that she'd missed.

-

Instead of leaving her on the corner with a kiss like he'd done many times before, he walked her not only to her door, but inside the house and up to her room. She wanted his friendship, she realised. When he first came up behind her she just wanted him to go away, but then she realised that she had nobody and if she let him walk away, she would continue to be alone.

-

There was no kissing, no hugging and the handholding had stopped before they'd entered her room. Maybe he just wanted to be friends too, she thought. But then he touched her. They were lay on her bed, evaluating the exam, flirting a little, just innocent fun between two people. His hand rested on the top of her thigh and she giggled as the fabric of her skirt moved, tickling her skin below. She didn't know how to react, she'd told him she only wanted to be friends, but he moved his hand down her thigh, letting it slide back up underneath her skirt.

-

"Erm, Jay," she muttered, hoping he'd get the hint as she rolled away onto her back, forcing his hand to slide onto the bed beside her. She avoided looking him in the eye as she lay there. But then he rolled over too, moving one knee to the opposite side of her waist until her was kneeling above her. He leant down and kissed her on the lips, but she turned her head, making it land on her cheek.

He groaned and let his body rest merely inches from her own, "don't do this to me Naomi, cant you feel how much I need you?"

She shook her head, "I told you, I just want to be friends."

"But friends don't flirt, you've led me on. I know deep down you want to fuck me, I'm irresistible"

"No, you're not," she shouted, pressing her hands against his chest to push him away. But she couldn't move him.

"I know you want it," he whispered, kissing her neck.

-

His grip was firm and his strength was more then she'd expected. The moment she tried to push him away, she realised that something wasn't right. But he was quick to defend himself, holding her wrists above her head with one hand, acting like it was all just a game where he was in control. She felt scared and angry that he couldn't see that she didn't want it. A scream lay on the tip of her tongue but something stopped her from using it.

"No, Jay" she told him, attempting to stay calm, "I don't want this, don't do this."

But he didn't care. He swapped hands, securing her hands above her head with his left hand, while he let his right travel up her top, not caring what he touched.

"Jay," she tried again, fear taking hold as her eyes filled with tears, "Please Jay, please don't."

Panic finally hit her. He still had her hands secure, her top pulled up over her breasts and a hand trying to open the buckle of her belt. She wriggled under his grasp, still pleading with him to stop. But he had her in a body lock, stopping her from moving much more than a wriggle. She was scared, fearful of what he would do if he kept going.

-

The scream that lay on her tongue, finally slipped from her lips, getting louder as her tears fell.

"STOP, I DON'T WANT THIS."

But he didn't move, he didn't stop and he finally unbuckled her belt.

"Didn't you hear her?"

Naomi thought she was dreaming at first, as James stopped and looked at the doorway. She looked too, wondering if it was her imagination, wondering if it really was Emily stood there. Her face was red with anger, her fists clenched.

"She said she doesn't want it. So get off her."

-

The weight of his body shifted and he stood up, moving away from the bed towards Emily. He looked down at her, shadowing over her. It looked intimidating from where Naomi lay on the bed, rearranging her clothes so that she was better dressed, she wondered if Emily was scared by the way he was stood.

"What's it to you? It's not you're her friend anymore."

Emily laughed, her voice sounding strong, "I was never her "friend"," she shook her head "I was her girlfriend…until you came along."

-

He stared at her, then turned to look at Naomi, a look of confusion in his eyes. She didn't want to speak to him, or even look at him, so she just nodded her head, keeping her eyes fixed on Emily behind him.

"So you're not even into me?" he asked, sighing. "What did I say? You led me on, you're a fucking tease, you're a fucking lesbian tease, what is wrong with you?"

"Just go," Emily glared, holding the door open and waiting until he walked out of it, before closing it behind him.

-

Naomi sat up on her bed. She felt shaken and confused, she barely had time to wonder what Emily was doing there, her thoughts filled with a sense of freedom, thankful to be away from James and his overpowering ego. She rubbed her arms, feeling a draft reach them. Emily didn't leave, she just stood watching her, until she took a few steps forward and sat on the bed beside Naomi. She reached her arms out and let Naomi fall into them, her eyes overflowing with tears that needed to fall. It felt right to be in Emily's arms again, the comfort of her hands pulled around her middle, her lips kissing her forehead. Naomi couldn't help wonder what it meant, if it meant they could be together, or if she was reading into the act of a friend.

"Thank you," Naomi whispered, pulling away, a smile forming on her lips.

"He's a titwank, he deserves everything coming to him when karma gets in his way."

Naomi nodded, "Thank you, for the hug too."

Emily shifted her position slightly, looking uncomfortable, "Naomi, we need to talk. We need to sit down and talk about everything, properly. No fighting, just sorting things out. But I think we should do it another time, after today. Plus, I have to go meet Katie for lunch."

"Oh," Naomi sighed, wondering what Emily meant, whether sorting things out was her way of saying they were going to get back together, or just talk about what had happened. She took a deep breath and nodded, agreeing with her. Emily said she'd call her, before leaving Naomi alone to process the last few hours.

**AN: Thank you my wonderful readers, I hope you will find a moment to leave a comment, it takes 2 seconds! You don't even have to be positive (though constructive is better than negative).**


	18. Chapter 18 Emily

**Thank you for the reviews, especially to * who pointed out a mistake I made, that I didn't even realise until it was pointed out to me. I then realised I made a mistake with the last chapter as it was supposed to be two chapters, part 2 being from Emily's point of view. So I had to spend a little bit of time seeing how I could rejig things to make sure they end the way they're planned to. This chapter certainlty wasn't planned but I think it worked out okay, I hope that * is happy with the direction I have now decided to take...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

Katie was already at the café when Emily arrived, she ordered them both a drink and Katie told her about a party that was planned for the weekend, to celebrate the end of their exams. Emily stayed silent, still processing what she'd witnessed in Naomi's bedroom.

"So anyway, Cook's bringing the gear, Freddie's bringing his sister and JJ's apparently bringing a girlfriend," Katie informed her, talking faster than the speed of light.

Emily's ears pricked up, "JJ's got a girlfriend?"

"Apparently," she replied, "You're really quiet, what happened with Naomi?"

"Naomi," Emily repeated, her thoughts struggling to catch up with her, "I have to go."

"You've just got here," Katie shouted, annoyed.

"I'll explain later."

Emily ran out of the café to the complaints of Katie, obviously put out by her speedy exit. But Emily had realised what a mistake she'd made. How could she leave Naomi alone when she'd just nearly been sexually assaulted? It sent her head spinning out of control, thoughts dancing around, images of James holding her breasts, touching her in places that Emily couldn't help feel belonged to her.

-

Her breathing became shallower and her side hurt, the stitch stopping her in her tracks. She was still round the corner from Naomi's house, so she set off again, ignoring the pain from her side so that she could return.

"Naomi," she shouted, running up the stairs and into her bedroom, it was empty.

The sound of the shower running reached her ears and she wondered what to do. They weren't together anymore, but she was worried. She tried the bathroom door anyway and it fell open under the weight of her hand. She proceeded with caution, then her heart sank when she saw Naomi curled up on the bathroom floor, fully clothed.

"I'm sorry," Emily cried out, wrapping herself around her, "I shouldn't have left."

-

Naomi's body was shaking, her eyes were full of tears, she looked like a deer in the headlights, right before the car collided. Emily stroked her hair, pushing the wet locks from her eyes and behind her ears.

"I was going to have a shower," Naomi finally spoke "but we don't have any shampoo, so I just…" Emily nodded as she trailed off, it didn't matter, talking didn't matter.

-

Emily handed a mug of coffee to Naomi, then took a seat beside her at the kitchen table. They'd found some shampoo and Naomi had finally showered, Emily waited in her bedroom until she'd finished. Then they went downstairs to get a drink. Emily couldn't help but watch Naomi drinking her coffee, a question on her mind.

"What?" Naomi asked, noticing her staring.

"Nothing," Emily whispered, "I just, James said you'd led him on, so you two never…?"

Naomi shook her head.

"Right. You should probably go to the police."

There was a long pause, neither of them said a word. When Naomi finally spoke, her voice was weaker than Emily had ever heard it, "No,"

"But…" Emily tried.

"No. It was a mistake, it was just a stupid mistake."

-

Mistake. The word span around Emily's head, it was a word she was all too familiar with, a word that felt wrong everytime she heard it. Before when she heard it, she thought of hate, hate of Naomi, hate of the situation. Now she didn't. She wondered if she should ignore what her heart and mind were telling her, what she'd decided to do when talking to her counsellor. But with Naomi sat in front of her, she wondered if it would be better to change her mind. Then she shook her head, it was the wrong thing to do. She knew that. Her decision was final, the discussion her and Naomi would have when things had settled down would end the same way it would have ended had James not attempted to rape Naomi.

-

When Emily left Naomi's later that evening she felt ready. Ready to take on the challenge of making things right between them, ready to go to university, whichever one accepted her and ready to make the changes she needed to make to feel stronger. The past eight months had been hard, they'd be a challenge that she didn't hope to take again, but she looked back at the person she was before and she knew deep down that she was a better person as a result.

**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter, you know a review/comment is greatly apprecited, so feel free to post one!**


	19. Chapter 19 Emily

**Thanks everyone for your reviews, they're really great to read and I really appreciate them. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The party was already in full swing when Emily arrived. She wasn't really in the mood for alcohol and drugs, not when it was the night before her talk with Naomi. She rang her the night before to check how she was going after the incident with James and they'd quickly arranged a meeting for Sunday afternoon.

-

The exams were over by Friday and Emily happily sent off her application for university. Her life was beginning to find some stability. Her parents wanted the family to have one more holiday together before the girls went off to college and after a few disgruntled comments from Katie, they had agreed to go along. Emily thought the idea sounded like a good one. Life in Bristol had changed since Naomi and she needed to get away, to have a break from everything and everyone and that summer was as good a time as any to do so.

-

After doing the rounds, greeting everyone she knew, Emily got a drink from the kitchen. She wasn't in the mood for alcohol and nobody needed to know that her vodka and coke didn't have vodka. She didn't feel much like dancing either, so she sat down on a sofa beside a couple who were playing tonsil tennis. Katie finally appeared from the stairs with Vikram at her heel, both looking very flushed. Emily smiled and watched as Katie asked Vik to get her a drink, before she came over, trying to persuade Emily to join in the fun.

"I'm happy here," she tried to tell her, but Katie was already tipsy and wasn't willing to take no for an answer.

-

Emily let herself be pulled into the middle of the lounge where people were dancing, she let herself sway along to the music, Katie's hands attached to her own, forcing her to move them. There was something sad about the moment that Emily tried to put her finger on, it wasn't that this would be the last time that they would spend together because they had four weeks holiday. But this was their last party as college students. Soon enough every single person in the room would be elsewhere; some would be at university, some would retake the year at Roundview and some would probably still be there dancing to their own beat. Katie would be at Bath Spa University studying a combined honours degree in History and Sociology. She was proud of her sister for choosing a path in life and sticking to it. But she was scared that living apart would change things between them. Even if Emily couldn't get a place at a university this year, she knew Bath wasn't too far away, but it still wasn't the bed across from her.

-

The party was getting louder and Emily was beginning to wish she'd been drinking alcohol. She didn't realise how annoying it was to listen to music that was so loud that all you could hear was the bass. But alcohol or drugs usually blocked out the downside and made her enjoy herself. She was contemplating going home early when Katie walked through the room, her hands in her hair and Vikram following. Emily rolled her eyes and walked after them to see what was going on.

"No, Vik, I can't tell her to leave, she's my sister,"

He appeared just as annoyed at Katie was, "But she's weird, don't you find it odd that she's gay?"

"She's my sister," Katie repeated.

"So? That doesn't mean you can't think it's not normal, I mean it's just so wrong. It's just odd, don't you think?"

-

Emily took a deep breath, wishing she hadn't chosen to enter their conversation. Vikram's opinion didn't matter much to her, but the fact that Katie had a boyfriend so closed minded frustrated her to no end.

"Yes, okay, it's odd, it's not normal. Can you just let her stay?"

Her ears were ringing from the volume of the music, Katie's words trying to process in her mind. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do. Then Katie turned around and saw her standing there.

"Emily," she whispered, barely audible above the music. "I didn't mean, I just…"

She finally found her voice, "I understand what you mean, you've never liked it."

"That's not true," Katie shouted, then turned to Vikram who looked just as confused as Emily felt.

"Yes, it is Katie, it's always been two steps forward one step back, why should it be any different with this? You have a problem with me."

-

Katie looked speechless, her mouth was open, but no words were coming out. Emily thought things had changed and that Katie was accepting her for who she was, but hearing first hand that things weren't any different left her with a stale taste in her mouth. She didn't want to stand there and have Katie try to defend herself, so she walked away, back into the main party and right into Naomi.

"I'm sorry," Emily gasped, before realising who she'd bumped into. Naomi just smiled. Then Katie came up behind them.

"What are you doing here? Can't you get it into that thick head of yours? Nobody cares."

-

It was all too much to handle all at once. She watched Katie and Naomi's verbal argument, shaking her head, just wanting to knock their heads together. Instead she walked out of the house, away from the noise, away from everything she didn't want to deal with.

"Emily, wait!" Katie followed her outside and Emily sighed heavily.

"Can't you get it into your thick head?" Emily asked, not really sure what _it_ was.

To make matters worse, Naomi wasn't far behind, appearing behind Katie in a matter of seconds.

"Don't just walk away from me Katie, just say what you've got to say," Naomi snapped, stepping so close to Katie that Emily wondered if she was going to hit her.

"Stop it, both of you just stop, NOW!" Emily screamed as loud as she could. She stepped in between her sister and Naomi and pushed them apart. "Naomi, don't do this. Don't bring Katie into this anymore than she's tried to be, I want to sort things out properly, but not now."

"Fine," Naomi rolled her eyes, "I'll see you tomorrow."

-

Naomi disappeared back into the party, leaving Katie and Emily alone. They were stood a meter apart, staring each other down. Emily turned around, deciding to leave Katie and the party.

"Wait, Ems, please," she mumbled, standing in front of her. "Can we talk about this?"

"What's there to say? You think I'm not normal and a little bit odd."

Katie sighed, "No, I don't, you're gay and it's normal, I know that."

"If you know that then why did you tell that tit that you agree with him?"

There was a long silence. Katie looked to the floor while Emily watched her, waiting patiently for an answer. She just wanted to leave, to forget she'd ever come, but she stayed anyway.

"He's very strong willed and he won't accept it when I try to disagree," Katie whispered, "I tried to when he first said it, but then I just gave up because he won't listen."

Emily scoffed.

Katie nodded, "I know, I know I can get like that too sometimes,"

Emily scoffed again.

"All the time," she altered, "Maybe I understand a bit more now. I'm sorry for saying it, I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry for how I've been."

-

Emily let her lips curl into a smile and reached forwards to hug her sister. She had her flaws, she made mistakes like any human and most of the time she drove Emily insane. But without her, it really wouldn't be the same.

**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter, it is the penultimate one, the next is the last chapter. Before I can begin part three...lol.**


	20. Chapter 20 Naomi

**Thank you to everyone for reading, thank you for all of the review. This has been one of my most enjoyable stories to write and I hope you've all enjoyed to read it, your comments and reviews have been to amazing and I appreciate each and every one of them.**

**This is the end...the last part. I really hope it lives up to any expectations you may have had, it took me forever to decide what was going in this chapter, but one morning I woke up and every last thing fell into place. I hope no one is disappointed...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins...if I did season 3 cast would be in it forever and ever.**

The ground was cold until she lay the blanket across it. She didn't know why they'd chosen their spot by the lake, but there they were on a Sunday afternoon. Naomi had arrived earlier, anticipating what would or could happen in a spot where so much of their relationship had unfolded. She had mixed feelings about the place now, but deep down she always knew it would be their place. Emily arrived shortly after with a blanket, foreseeing the temperature of the floor on which they'd sit while they talked.

"Are you feeling better after the other night?" Emily asked, still concerned about the incident with James. Naomi just nodded. She didn't want small talk, she didn't care for the little things, she just wanted to get down to business and see what Emily wanted to do.

"Where shall we start?" Naomi whispered, trying to move the conversation along.

"I meant what I said before Naomi, I don't want to get back together with you,"

-

The words hit her like daggers. Part of her had expected the let down, but another part of her thought that maybe there was a chance that things had changed. She'd tried to fight, but maybe she hadn't fought hard enough. Something which she knew she would always regret. Emily was about to continue when Naomi stood up and turned to walk away without another word.

Emily sighed, "Don't go,"

"Why not?" Naomi cried, "Why should I stay if you're just going to tell me what you've already told me? Why give me hope just to knock me down?"

Emily stared at her hands as she played with the dirt, "It's not over Naomi, just listen to me, let me finish."

-

The floor might have been cold, but she decided that it was better to be cold than to sit beside Emily. She wanted to listen, to let her finish, but she felt frustrated and angry that she'd come all this way just to be told there was no hope.

"I've thought long and hard about this, all of it. You don't know how many times I went over it in my mind, trying to find a way for us to be together. But I can't do it, not right now. I need to break away from this, from you, from everything."

"But…" Naomi interrupted.

"No, don't say anything. Not yet." Emily continued on, not stopping to let her speak. "You were my safety net. You were my one chance to be Emily a person, not Emily, Katie's twin. I relied on you too much Naomi, I was dependent and I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to not know who I am unless I'm connected to someone else."

Naomi let the word sink in, trying to understand where she was coming from. She too was dependent on Emily, she didn't see herself as one person anymore. As JJ had once said, she was one half of Naomily. At the time she told him not to give them a celebrity couple name, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to be nothing more than Emily's girlfriend. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Emily continued to speak.

"When I met you I was scared. I was scared to be gay and I was scared that I didn't know how to deal with those feelings. The thought of being gay with someone, having a girlfriend, a stranger. Starting out with someone I didn't know as my first relationship, it was terrifying. You were a familiar face and it meant something, it really meant something," Emily took a deep breath, a hint of tears on her voice. "It mattered to me that my first was someone who I cared about and trusted and knew so well."

Emily stopped talking. Her voice faltered as tears fell from her cheeks. Naomi wanted to reach over and wipe away her sadness. But something troubled her.

"Did you, did you ever really love me?"

Emily choked on her tears and looked angry, her face pulled together in frustration as her voice grew louder. "Love you? I'm taking anti-depressants every single day and I've just stopped seeing a counsellor, of course I fucking loved you."

Naomi stayed silent, not sure whether to speak, or to wait for Emily to say something more. She felt tense, each word sinking into her mind and heart as Emily spoke them.

"I realise now that the main reason I was so messed up was because I couldn't cope with the alternative. It's like it was last year, I needed to be alone, only now more than ever. I need to be alone. It," she choked on her tears again, taking a moment to pull herself together, "It hurts me so much to say it, but I need to do this for my own sanity…and for yours."

Tears filled Naomi's eyes and she struggled to swallow. Emily's words were hitting her hard, they made her want to scream, to tell her she was wrong, that it shouldn't happen, that they had to be together. But she knew deep down that every thing Emily said was true.

"We need to grow up, you need to learn who you are; if you're gay, if you're straight, if you're bi. You just need to discover that and accept it and embrace it," Emily sighed, wiping her face. "You can't do that with me here getting in the way. And I need time to heal and to move on."

"So this is it?" Naomi dared to whisper, regretting the question instantly.

Emily sighed, "I don't know, if we can be friends in September, then I'd be okay with that. But I think we need to spend some time apart, the summer. If you don't want to be friends in September, then I'll deal with that. But right now, we can't have the happy ending that I know you want."

Naomi had moved closer, she was on her knees facing Emily, sat inches from her body. Their faces were both stained with tears and they were both shaking. She nodded, listening intently with every word, finally accepting what Emily wanted, what needed to happen.

"I would rather lose your love and keep your friendship, than lose everything further down the line."

The silence that followed Emily's last sentence was deafening. Naomi felt like she was going to drown under the pain, but then she looked to the future. To September when they'd had time apart, time to grow, time to be who they were and maybe after a while they could be who they were together, once more. Naomi leant forwards, wrapping her arms around Emily's body, their faces covered with fresh tears as she kissed her. She kissed her with every last piece of her heart and her soul and Emily kissed her back. Unlike any kiss they'd had before, it wasn't full of hunger, or anticipation for what was. It was simply an act of goodbye. Naomi knew that it would be over soon and they would both walk away, but for now she enjoyed their last moment together.

**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter and this story. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this sequel to Trying To Forget and I hope you'll all join me with a third and probably final part to the soon to be triology. Please leave your comments/reviews, even if you haven't reviewed before, I'd love to know if you enjoyed the story as a whole. I've spent about 5 months out of writing thanks to a nasty case of writers block and these two fics have really brought me back with a bang and I really do appreciate the feedback.**


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